need for love.

2009-06-19T23:15:00.001+08:00

Im re-opening my blog soon! ;D
Be updated .

2009-04-26T15:56:00.004+08:00

I wont be updating this blog anymore.
Maybe in future when i think i want to public my blog again.
Private blog is still safer.

I'll invite only certain people. :)

Eyy spammers, aint happy with what i've written all this while? Why, do you think im referring to you? I dont mind, we'll confront. If i did offend you in certain way, im sorry. Tere will only be one life ruiner right now. That someone. And to that person who wants to be called LOL, Fuck off okey? I dont remember disturbing your life, so dont bother disturbing mine. I'll keep on removing whatever you want to say. Cause its just making my eyes hurt. I thought of banning but somehow i still have a heart. So yeah, dont even bother.

2009-04-24T21:33:00.010+08:00

TAK PERLU AH.
MACAM SIAAAAAAAAL!

OH YAAA, AKU BARU PERASAN YANG KAW TU, HYPOCRITE.
RABAK, RABAK. I GOT ONE SOLUTION FOR YOU.
GET A LIFEEEE AH! no life m-f.

terase? kaw peh pasal ah.
tak puas hati? CONFRONT AH.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.
Gosh, this is so upsetting!

2009-04-22T20:22:00.003+08:00

This is so unbelievable. This is so unexpected!
Dont panic, dont panic. Okey, i cant.

Because of only one fight which isnt my fault, it became this way. Sorry that i still kept saying this way. But i am really sure that it wasnt my fault. I KNOW IT ISNT MY FAULT! Once it starts fading, i never believe it could be felt again. I got to make a decision, very wisely.
I cant believe i read that message. I cant believe that you said that. Never did my feelings for you fade eventhough i was lazy to entertain you. I tried being nice, i tried talking to you, but your just plain lazy to reply. So, i waited. I WAITED for you to message, but no you didnt. Until yesterday, you did. You said your busy with work and you dont have enough sleep. FINE.

You can spend more than an hour hanging out with your friends. But you just cant spend at least a minute to neither message nor call. Prepaid tu, gi simpan je untuk layan orang lain. This isnt the right time for me to felt this way. But i just did. I dont want to fall in love. I don want to open my heart anymore. I am sick and tired of getting hurt. So i guess, the past is back once again.

I wont say more or else, to you, im embarrassing you. I am not. Get me right.
And hey girl, be happy about this.

2009-04-22T17:47:00.002+08:00

Ezza aint in school again.
):

7 more days till maths paper. Im not prepared! Shit. -__________-"
Friday, geography test. Sighs. Thought i look like i paid attention in class with writing l those notes, but somehow my mind was elsewhere. I cooked today to cheer myself up. Spaghetti. Its nice you know. Unbelievable. (x

Kay , got to go.
I want to finish up my meal and then study.

2009-04-21T17:39:00.009+08:00

Im hooked with this song.
I know, outdated.
But old songs are nicer than new ones. o___O

Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can't get
you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show
To letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

But if I let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will I ever see
You smiling back at me
How will I know?
If I let you go

Night after night
I hear
myself sayin
Why can't this feeling just fade away?
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame we're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask
I'm too proud to lose
But sooner or later I
gotta choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out

I never know that i will be this sad.
I never thought that i will be this hurt.
I never feel that love you showered me with in the past anymore.
I never felt that you still care. From what i think, you treated me just like friends.
If you really want to treat me that way,
it is better to be just friends and no need for relationship.
Everything is no longer there for me.
Even you.

2009-04-20T20:53:00.003+08:00

Tiramisu Cheesecake.
Yummy~ Want some? Never. rawr.

OMG.
Exam is like urm, next week? Damn it. Im in a rush. Sighs.
Shouldn't have slacked. Vectors is difficult for meeee! :(

Anyways, saw Izzul today. Calling me from far. Didnt turn but did call. I didnt want to meet him. No intention to do so. Hang out with Firdaus Shahmat and Nadia Hamzah. :D

Boring day. I know.
2.4 was wasted maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
Hahaha. I walked all the way for the 3rd round.
Walking, talking to myself like no body business.
If it wasnt for walking that whole round, i had passed. LOL.
Its okaay . :D

Got to go.
TOOOOODLES.

Oh yes, i fought again.
Wont ever end.

2009-04-19T22:57:00.004+08:00

I want that adidas shoe.
Firdaus, you will see that shoe missing one day. rawr!

11 monthsary.
Unbelievable i know.
But guess what. Each word you speak, hurts me.
I dont find what i need anymore.

Anyways, i just got home. Havent done my proposal. Was out to Causeway Point for lunch. Tampines Courts for lcd screen, which we didn't buy it in the end. Tampines Ikea for single bed. Little sisters bed had to be changed. No one sleeps on double decker bed. Sheng siong marsiling for stuffs and dinner.

Boring, i know.

Yesterday, Asif and Akid came down Woodlands to accompany me. I was bored. Really, really bored at home. Been watching television ever since i woke up. So they came and had laughters here and there. They were hilarious. :D

Off to bed now!
Will update soon.

2009-04-12T23:45:00.001+08:00

I'm back! :D

Gosh, finally. I was hoping I'm home ever since i reach KL. It feels so different. Anyways, i do have a fun trip. I didn't socialize in the first place. More to the first day. Wasn't in the mood. Hah. First day, after resting at our hotel, headed to KLCC which is just few metres away from the hotel. Didn't buy anything. It's almost the same price in Singapore. I rather buy it here. After that i kinda forget where we went. Before going back to the hotel, i remember going for dinner at this small coffee shop. Urgh, im disgusted. -___________-"

Second day, woke up kinda late. Used to it. Its Saturday. What do you expect. It was meant for me to wake up late that day! Back to the story. After everyone has bathe, we headed to Sunway Lagoon. Zulaikha and I went around the place alot of times. Tried almost everything at the water park. Had too much fun at the water park that we forget about the amusement park and also David Archuleta. Sedihhh kan! I remembered when i saw this lady with VIP passes. Lmao. It's okay. No big deal. Alot of hawt Caucasian dudes. :X

After that went shopping at Sunway Pyramid. Bought alot of Animals brand clothes. Bought clothes at FOS. I just pick whatever i wanted. Hah! After that went to Masjid India to buy crackers. Went to have dinner and back to the hotel. Had a good night sleep!

Today, woke up early. Had a long bath before the others wake up or else had to queue up just to shower. Went to have lunch at Masjid India. Walked around. Bought a shirt. After that headed home. Of course we had a stop at i dont really know where the hell is it. I saw this green Nike slippers. Ah, nice. And also the green Nike sneakers. Drooooools. Green! ): I want it.

Im tired. Hah. Got to go! :D

TimeCheck:2345

2009-04-12T23:43:00.000+08:00

OH YAAAAAAAAAA.

I forget something.

KYNN, HAPPY SIXTEEN BIRTHDAY.

All the best in whatever you do kay.
And last long with your boyfriend!

2009-04-10T00:07:00.004+08:00

Sorry that i have to do this but understand what i feel.
Feel what I've felt.
Let's Recall Everything from 2007 until today.

Remember how we got to know each other? Through Firdaus and Hanis. Ever since that day, the day i fell for you, i thought you can be the pillar of strength that may support my building till whenever the building could last. Remember the first time i was with you? Though it hurts so much, i let you go because you love that other person. One month later, you came back pleading for patch. I accepted you, and what did you do next. You had a girl behind me. You remember singing to me the song " sepenuh hati " at green carpet? You said you wont leave me, but in the end, you left me. After months past, you came back again. My heart was still open just for you even though it means leaving Izzul for you. You promised me again not to leave me. But what did you do, you ignored me. You even called me names which hurt me so badly after what you've done towards me. I gave in. I gave in for almost thrice. And yes, i had to let go. I couldn't stand it.

In 2008, you came back to me. Finally, it last until today. You said, you'll change. You promised me not to drink when we were sitting at the staircase. You cried as i didn't said anything. You cried as i didn't forgive you. Even though i hated what you did, i gave in. I forgive you and took your promise. But did you fulfill it? No, you don't. You still drink going against what you promised me. While having dikir, you were with Firdaus and the others, you bumped into your ex. Though you pushed whatever she said, i was still hurt. What if she comes and got your heart back? What about me. Are you going to dump me. I had to think out of the box. During my birthday. Going out with the others, you got so angry with me. Though you cheered me up but do you know how i felt? I keep it all to myself. Do you know how embarrasing it is to cry on my own birthday because of what happened.

Recall back what you did infront of me to Nadia when she hit you somewhere. And you said im okay with it. Do you know how i felt exactly? Do you know why i kept distance away from you? Do you know that i was seriously hurt? No, you dont. Recall back what you've done to me without my willings. Do you know how down i was? Do you know how dark my life suddenly became? No, you dont.

She was your bestfriend. I understood. I've never said you couldnt go out with her. And i've never asked neither of you to break friendship, but its you guys who said it. It's the both of you whom said that same thing. That you guys will stay away from each other. Am i the one who said it? No, im the the one. I may be reacting so immature at first but after im okay with it, you started it. You started pin pointing me. You started blaming me for what i didnt do. I purposely ignored you during the weekends, thinking that you'll be fine when weekdays came, i was wrong. You werent. You kept saying that she spent time with you and shared problems together. Yes, i know. You guys were best friends and best friends do share problems and spend time together. But by the way you said it, hati aku tersinggung. What am i here for? Dont tell me your just here because you needed me for something else. You kept on blaming me without knowing my side of the story. As a boyfriend, you should understand how i felt too. Put yourself in my shoes and feel how pressure it is. Put yourself in my shoes and understand how painful it is being in this position.

You continued being harsh towards me. You continued with all your mean words. Hati aku tak saket? Each time i said it wasnt me, you ignored and still blame me. You ignored whatever i have to say and take it as if your right and im the one at fault. You pull down my hopes. You make me angry for the very first time. I've never had an intention to fight with my friend. I've never had the intention to confront her. And i've never had the intention to say all those mean words. But hey, i did say sorry. I even said sorry to you if i did make you hurt. But, did you?

You said you loved me. But i shall ask you, when was the last time you showed you care for me? I shall ask you, when was the last time you replied my confession to you? Forget? Let me be the one to tell you. It was FOUR MONTHS BACK. So how can i believe that you still love and do care for me. And earlier today, i tried being nice to you. But what did you reply, " aku tak tau ah, kao punye pasal ah ". Put yourself in my shoes. What if i treat you that way. What if i react like the way you did towards you. Are you pissed off? Are you hurt with what im doing? This is what you said you understands me.

I know, i should be thankful. I should appreciate all you sacrifices. You tried to hold this relationship as long as possible. You didnt entertain other girls [I guess.]. You told me to do this and that to hold the relationship. But do you think by doing all that, we can avoid all this obstacles? Never. Because you never gave in. You always wanted to win. Eventhough it might not be my fault, you wont ever give in. Because win the fight between you and me might be important to you. Do you notice how long i've been so down? Never did.

Most people told me to let go of you but i stick to my promise. I'll fulfill that promise. I wont ever leave you without any good reasons. But are you going to do your part in understanding my situation? Are you going to do your part in controlling your temper too if i tried to?

Now, i understand why Shahid had never like me getting back to you. Because he knows one day, this might happen. He knows one day, i'll be hurt. Much more hurtful than what i've gone through before. But i keep my promise. I'll only let go if you really step my head. And if you wayy over the limit.

Understand how i feel.
Feel how hurtful i felt.
I know, i aint always right but when i am right, believe me.
Trust me!

Do you feel what i felt right now?
Are you awaken right now?

Still unhappy? Message me on Sunday.
I'll be sure that i'll reply as soon as i reached home.

2009-04-09T20:23:00.002+08:00

Difference.

It feels so different now. But what can i do except being patience. I was alone today. Ezza, Hanis, Zaharah, Hidayah, Zul were all not in school. I thought i'll be alone during recess but no, i was wrong. Azzrul, Khairul, Zaily and Acap sat with me. Lessons were so boring. Time flies so fast. During art lesson, i got no one to talk to except Jasmine. It sucks being so alone. -____-"

Biology extended was the only awesome subject today. Did experiment. Colourful experiment. I mistook violet by purple. Hah. There is no purple in scienceee! I forget that. Achievers, sat at the computer lab. Went online but did nothing. After school met Ezza. I finally feel so alive! I wanted them to stay till maybe 8, but they had to go. :(

So went home and watched television. Met Aiez, he passed the psp. Got back my psp. But he will be taking it again most probably on Sunday. Aww, once again. David Archuleta will be at Sunway this Saturday. Im not going to miss it. I want to have all my fun time back which had been ruin this week.

I've got so many revisions to do! This wont be quite a fun trip but i'll arrange my time to study there. Got to go. Will be back on Sunday. [:

2009-04-08T19:26:00.009+08:00

I couldnt, i give up.

I aint going to fight anymore. I aint going to quarrel anymore. You want to start a fight, go ahead. You want to start a quarrel, go ahead. You want to blame me in whatever matter whether im right or wrong, go ahead. You want to scold me with vulgarities or harsh manner, go ahead. I'll keep quiet. I'll hold on to everything. I'll hold on to my anger. I'll let it go somewhere else but not you. I'll let go all my problems elsewhere and not to you. I wont bring anymore problem to you.

I cant let go. You were the one whom gave me all the strength i need. I finally felt so lifeless as if i dont have anyone in my life. I dont know what i should do next. I dont know what am i facing. And i dont know how am i facing all this in future. I couldnt let go. I really cant. I know, if i let go, i'll regret for my own doings and be so hurt. But do you think, not letting go, can resolve this? Do you think not letting go, can make us not hurt each other again? I believe, it will definitely happen again. I dont knoww what to do ! Sighss. This is tearing me apart.

Im glad you didnt came. Cause i know, if you come down, i couldnt control my anger. I couldnt control how i felt. And i know, i'll definitely ask for an end to this as i couldnt stand being blamed and getting scolded non-stop.

Whatever luh, i'll go with the flow.

I really regret for what i did in school. Im sorry Khairul and Zaily. Because of me letting out my anger, you guys were the one who get blame. Im sorry Zulkhairi for letting out my anger on you. I should have control myself and not let it all out to you. Sorrryyy to anyone else if i did put you in trouble. And sorry Zaharah, if it isnt because of my problems and angers, you wont be at fault and get all those harsh words from his friend. Sighs. Oh yes, Fatimah too for those mean words. I know, i shouldnt have said it but i couldnt stand it.

It has been a hard time for me this week. Im soo down. Im feeling so depressed. I give up, on everything.

And yaa, Thanks so much to all whom had been listening to me whinning since last week.

TimeCheck: 1937PM

2009-04-06T22:03:00.011+08:00

THIS IS FOR YOU TO READ!
THE CONVERSATION I HAD WITH HER.
PUAS HATI KORANG?
AKU TAK BERSALAH SIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

(2:18 AM) Shahidah.:
And if it isnt for Zaily, i wont know where he went.
(2:19 AM) Shahidah.:
He, himself never puts an effort to AT LEAST tell me where his heading to without me asking.
(2:19 AM) sitt.:
yes, yes, yes. fights will occur in every relationship. even with family, parents, siblings & friends. the key is, trust. the both of u need to talk things down. tell him what u feel, deep inside ur heart. the things u want from him. then thing u hate to see or happen. burst it all out. but he, himself, have to do the same thing too.
(2:19 AM) sitt.:
but when i met him, i ask him, does shahidah knws that u are with me. then he says yes.
(2:20 AM) Shahidah.:
Yes, i know his with you . But i didnt know where you guys are heading to. It didnt pass by my mind in asking that neither.
(2:21 AM) sitt.:
he didnt tell u that he is going to ite simei to ask abt school stuff ?
(2:22 AM) Shahidah.:
Never did.
(2:22 AM) Shahidah.:
And in the end, he scolded me for not asking where his heading to. Is it fair?
(2:22 AM) sitt.:
aik. he should be the one telling u wat ?
(2:23 AM) Shahidah.:
He already said his going out with you, why cant he put on a little effort to just type a few words that is "his meeting you for school stuff" ?
(2:24 AM) Shahidah.:
Everything have to be questioned?
(2:24 AM) Shahidah.:
No right.
(2:25 AM) Shahidah.:
So am i wrong to get pissed off?
(2:25 AM) Shahidah.:
So do i really deserve all those blamings and scoldings from him?
(2:25 AM) Shahidah.:
So am i the one who didnt trust him?

BAIK PEE. PENIPU HARAM. ARGH!
AKU TAK BERSALAH, AKU YANG JADI MANGSE!
WHY THE FUCK I HAD TO LEAD THIS KIND OF BULLSHIT.
AND YOU. SIDE DIE AH, SIDE DIE BANYAK2! PEGI AH!

And thanks to someone for reminding me this cause i thought that its the end of the world for me!

That Particular Person says:
Even If You Dont Meant Anything To Someone.It Doesnt Mean You Nothing To Everyone.
That Particular Person says:
Even If Someone Doesnt Cherish You.Others Will.

TimeCheck: 2203PM

2009-04-06T20:38:00.004+08:00

Buck up.

I need to buck up! Gahhh, few more months to Os.
Few more weeks to Mid Year. Im already feeling the stress in me.
Is that good or bad? :X
Its been a tiring day for me. Indeed it was.
Thanks Zaily for being sarcasm. Your sarcasm makes me laugh.

Just admit that i dont mean anything to you anymore.

TimeCheck: 2038PM

2009-04-04T22:45:00.001+08:00

Busy day.

I was supposed to go catch a movie wih Zara yesterday but she fell asleep. The movie flew off. Was suppoosed to go out with Zara today to City Hall but i had a little problem, so it was cancelled.

I just got home and i had been laughing since morning till night. Lets start from morning. Woke up late. Rushed to school. Was disturb by some bunch of monkeys at the bus stop. A lot of them. Walked to the art room slowly as if im not late. Sat down and Mr Selvam smiled. I was sitting there sms-ing and he was staring at me. So told him that i want to go out. So went out. Walked to kama. While walking down the stairs, called Zulkhairi down. Zul and Yuyul accompany me to smoke. Gah, relief. Went back to the artroom, the place i sat was occupied by 2 guys. So sat down with Zul. Played Snake & Ladder. Zul lost again by 2-1. Best kan. Started doing art. Zul got bored and we chat with each other on a piece of drawing block. I wanted to bring the file home but Zul said i couldnt as he wants to do his art. He wants to bring it home. Sad rigghttt! So leave him right after Mr Selvam release us. He was chasing after me. Stopped in front of the school as i bumped into Azzrul. Chatted for a while. Saw Zul, so i walked away. He thought that i stopped because i waited for him. Hah. Mainkan perasaan kaw eh? Sorry ah.

The both of us walked to 113. Soon came Salihin. Zombieeeee! Zul and Salihin were quarreling. Debating. Salihin lost by 5-0. Thats alot. Then came Asif. Ahh, now its noisy. Looked at him shade. I envy him maaan! Played cards. I swear looking at Asif reminds me of Anwar. Their behaviour is about the same. So had a good laugh here and there. Zaharah message me asking whether i want to do the project today. I agreed. She get dress and came down 113. Sat there while i finish the game bluff with Asif. However, it didnt finish. Headed to Causeway Point as Zara wanted to look for present. Didnt manage to find anything suitable. Walked at the Bazaar. Bought things then walked home.

The whole family was at home. Sat in the room with Zara. Bloghopped, msn, checked fs and fb. Then we finally did our project. Halfway doing, bibik knocked the door asking whether im following. But nah, i need to do my project. So asked mum for money as they are going for dinner as well. So after doing the project, walked to 888. Oh yes, while walking & smoking, i didnt realise that the car parked under my aunt's blk was my stepmum and little sister. Back to the story. Sat at the coffeeshop and ate(which was actually our lunch and dinner). After that, walked to 602. Zara wanted to meet this guy since it's nearby but in the end, the person wasnt home. So slacked there and smoked again. Accompany Zara to the bus stop and then headed home.

My handphone had been so silent. But yeah, there is still people who cares to entertain me cause i feel so empty. Going off to KL this coming Friday. I shall get a peace of mind. Fresh up! I need to clear off all those problems.

Alrights, i need to go and edit those presentation slides.
Tooodles~

I've always love this song.
But somehow, it's related to what im going through.
After that fight, after reading those messages.
This part of the lyric were real cause
she's way important to you.

May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
As every year passes
They mean more than gold
May you win and stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble

I was on the verge of giving up, but i couldnt always say i give up on each fight. I got to stay strong. If only i could.

TimeCheck: 2245PM

2009-04-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

Laughters and tears.

Gah, it was such a complicated day for me. I swear it was. Its either i believe one or two. But how can i not trust the other. But i thank the my lovely girlfriends and guy friends for helping out earlier today with the message. They tried so hard to make me not think about it and tried so hard in cheering me up. Especially Zaharah. All of us had the same thought. If only that question was asked, things wont be happening. Its too late afterall.

I know, those words are harsh. But i dont like people stepping my head. It enough of me giving in. Its already time for me to get back on my feet and say out the things i need to say.

Asif and the others really made me laugh. I guess if i sit with them each day, i'll be laughing till my i'll get stomach cramps. But not forgetting, the others too. I love my friends, Oh-So-Much. :)

Ah yes, im in deepshit.

TimeCheck: 2140PM

2009-04-03T14:20:00.000+08:00

The real truth.

Trying to get
sympathy by saying all that right? Gahhhhh, all of us known you too
well. Since Secondary One. But i guess it was time for us to say the real truth. I got to say, it isnt just going to be me, but the others too. Think before saying. And think before doing.

If you were a really a friend of ours, you will know what to do.
And if you were really a friend of ours, you wont be hurting any of us.

PS: The ship has already sunk deep down since months back.
Its whether you realise or not.

TimeCheck: 1420PM

2009-04-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

Big mistake.

Gah, i never did any pranks or ting to make someone a total fool on April Fool. Yesterday was the first time i ever did. Cause i know it might somehow, hurt someone. But yeah, i never want to do it again cause what we planned eventually came true. Hidayah told me and Zaharah to disturb Hanis and Harizah since they were not in school.

We told them that Hidayah was admitted in TTSH, as told by her. But guess what, at night i received a message from her saying that we should end the joke. She was on her way to TTSH. SEEEE, this is what i hate about playing pranks or making fool of people.

Okey, today was a totally bad day. We had Maths test, that was so difficult. I was struggling. Then we got back Chemistry paper. But that is a good thing, i passed. I have been having stomach cramp since morning. And i was searching for menstruation pill. No one has it! Tsk. The cramp is making me go through PMS. Stupidshit.

I just got home. I want to rest.
I hate those people around me. Except for some particular people.

Oh yes, read that news on Hanis blog.
Shocking, Unbelievable And Many Other Words.

TimeCheck: 2130PM

2009-03-29T19:00:00.001+08:00

Dusty blog.

Ah, haven't been updating. Was out with family since 9. Yes, shocking. It's so earlyyyyy! Anyways, headed to Jurong Point. Gahhh, i saw cheap Everlast shoe. Had breakfast at Macdonald. Walk around looking for lcd and wall fan. Then headed to IMM to have lunch. Ate Hor Fun. Bestbest. Walk around again, Everlasttttttttt. Droools. I want that shoeee. :(
But mum aint buying it for me. I just spent 146 bucks yesterday. Aww. But that is my money.

Sighs. Everlast. 0___________0

Going out soon. Heading to Causeway Point i supposed. I'll try bugging mum again. Sale. Who doesnt wants. Plus, its cheap. And 2 days left only.

I miss Ezzaa!
And i want to watch movieee, as soon as possible!

TimeCheck: 1900PM

2009-03-20T21:30:00.006+08:00

Featuring Little Cousin,
Isla Rose Headley.
And she's only 8 months old. :D

I was down with fever yesterday. It dropped from 39degree to 37 this morning. What a relief. I slept for almost 15 hours. I must be too tired. Didnt went for Chemistry today. Was on the phone with Boyfiee today. Eventhough it was just a few minutes but i felt like im all alive once again. I finally see the colours filling up in my life again.

I've been feeling so down this week. But some people cheered me up. The person whom i've always misjudge was the one who helped me settle things out. Eventhough i threw tantrums at her at times, she still helps me. She was the one who put things back together from the start till now. Yeah, thanks Sitty. However, it's not only her. But most importantly my bestest friend ever, Harizah. She had been there by my side for almost every problems i face. She wont stop listen to me whinning back and forth. She always spare a time for me. Same goes to Nadia and Hidayah too! Hanis and Zaharah also do listen to my problems but not all of it. But i do thank them for the advices and hugs i need in the morning and whenever i cried. The warm hugs i got from my friends are all with love and concern. I feel like im the luckiest person to have all this friends. (:

And yeah, i hope the obstacles that i might be facing in future will be settle nicely. I dont want losing him. All because of me saying i wanted to leave him, i felt really sick. Somehow, that made me realise that deep down, i cant bear to leave him. I never wanted to leave him. And i dont want anyone else except him right now. Yes, I love my boyfriend. His all i ever wanted.

2009-03-19T00:25:00.003+08:00

I thought things are back to the way it was, but no.
Im wrong. Totally wrong.
Just take it as if i didnt wish that to you.

2009-03-18T23:28:00.006+08:00

Featuring, Luqman Hakim.
I had no idea of his age.
But his cute :D

Sad isnt it? Sighs. I know.
Anyways, last Saturday didnt followed them due to certain reasons. ent to Supreme Court instead with Cik Seri, Cik Ita, and family. It was more to History. I sucks at it. Honestly. Sunday, went to Sembawang Shopping Centre. It sucks. Saw Precelia there too.

Monday & Tuesday - ART CAAAAAAAAAAMP.
It was awesome except for some parts. We sang, we drew, together. Plus, we even put powder on Zaharah's face when it strikes Twelve. That was superb. We celebrate her birthday with Pizzaaaaaa! Gerek tauu. And oh, sorry boyfiee, i forget to tell about it. Dont be angry anymore. Im sorry once again.

Today was Malay and Maths Remedial. YES, i went for both of it though i was almost an hour late for Malay and fifteen minutes late for Maths. But who cares, i still attend and did pay attention. After remedial, walk out of school with Hanis. Then walked to the busstop with Khairul. Reached home watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Cute show indeed. Gonna watch High School Musical 3 again. And yeah, Oh baby once more. I love those movies. Waiting for Going Seventeen. Zac Efron! [:

~~Happy Ten Monthsary Bby, in advance. :X~~

2009-03-14T11:08:00.003+08:00

Argh! Stop shouting, blaming me for what im doing. I know what im doing.
I know whats right and wrong.
DOPE!

2009-03-13T20:55:00.002+08:00

Friday 13th.

I've seen my results. I swear it was so upsetting. Especially when Mr Tan said those lines. I felt my heart crushed. I never felt this way before when i see i failed certain subjects, but this time i did. I was down. Infact, the whole day. But i didnt want to show it.

Today sure is a stupid day for me. I almost wear one side green and another side blue socks. I forget to bring my Combined Humanities file which made me g home straight and back to school just to pass up the file. I forget to finish up my Comprehension, which i will submit during the holiday. Sighs. My world is turning upside down. After sending the file, met Ezza and Syam. Before that, while walking, bumped into Fadil and Firdaus Rahim. Fadil was running at the end of the blk towards me. I miss them luh! Chatted for a while. They got to go. Hangout with Ezza and Syam. More to walking around the blks on my own cause they had things to settle. Make a fool out of myself. Bumped into idk his name. Headed to 116 after that. Met Ahmad. Then sat at 113 with Syukri, Akid, Asif, Salihin. Accompanied Ezza to the bus stop. Went back to 113, Zul pulled me to follow him to Chong Pang. And i did. He treated me a drink. Green Tea! Yey. Then accompany him home and i headed home. Talked to Nadia from 113 to Chong Pang and all the way to Woodlands.

I've been self-centered this few days. I know, i admit. I made him a total fool yesterday. Which was so mean of me when i thought back. But i couldnt control myself. So, yeah.

Still thinking about tomorrow. Gah, he didnt reply my message. Okey, i understood. Serve me right.

Still reading New Moon.
I know, im slow. I didnt had the time luh.
Speaking of time, i need to email my typical schedule to Kak Wati.
So i shall be gone now.

Im booked the whole week tomorrow by the teachers. LOL
Remediaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal. Fuck

2009-03-09T21:35:00.006+08:00

Maths And Humanities.

Today, we had Amazing Race again at Raffles. One embarrassing moment ever. PRIVACYYYYY. LOL. Keep it low. I was team up with Zaily and Samuel. Good team mates. We were all along with Ezza's Group. That is Azzrul and Zulkhairi. Had a lot of laughters. Met mum too. Got 10 bucks. Yey. The questions were tricky. The game wasnt that bad. It was tiring too. After school met boyfiee, ate Macdonald.

4th March, was mum birthday. Spent alot of money just on a bag. It's RED okey. Mum loves red. Due to that, i didnt have enough money to spend to boyfiee's present. But i told him that i'll give it later. Anyways, Happy 17th Birthday Dearest. You know, no matter how much i asked for break for stupid stuff, no matter how much we fought, i had never had the intention to leave you. Never. A few more months to One Year Ann. My love grew as 2 years past. Im sorry that i've hurt you so much for the past 2 years. Your all grown up now. No longer the guy i knew during Secondary Three. I'll promise that i'll stay by you until whenever it is. I couldnt promise how long, but i'll be there. You meant alot to me.

His on the line.
Got to go! [:

2009-03-08T18:14:00.002+08:00

Love.

Yesterday's maths was awesome. I finally understood Trigonometry, which made me feel a little relief. Thanks to Hidayah, for helping me out. And also the NYP mentor. After maths, sat at 725. Accompanied Hidayah for a while as she wants to fetch Nadia. Walked to Northpoint as Zara needs to buy something for her mum. She left after that. So it's left with Ezza and I. We walked around Northpoint for i dont know how many times. Waited for Syam. Soon after, Syam came. Walked around again and then, i left to meet Boyfiee.

Yeeeees, his hawt. He accompanied me home. Bathe and get dressed. Went off to Yishun. Waited for Zara at Yishun Mrt. While waiting, we saw Firdaus Isa, Farhan and Hamzah. Soon, Zara came with Syam and i forget what's that guy name. They headed home while Zara, Boyfiee and i headed to Bugis. Walked around Bugis Street. Zara bought a dress and pants. Boyfiee bought a shoe at IP Zone, Bugis Junction. I just looked around. Alot of things attract my eyes. But what i wanted isnt there.

Today, went Jurong to take my maid's watch back. Mean people. Indeed. Then headed to IMM. Walked around, window shopped. Went Giant, spent alot. And now, im home. Going out again later. Off to Causeway Point.

Still waiting for Apit to pay me back. And I still had to treat Akid. Sighsss -.-

2009-03-03T22:57:00.003+08:00

Stalked.

I've been stalked once more. Guess who? Yes, your right. Black parade member. I shouldnt have gone out at 8 just now. Should have waited until tomorrow. Oh wells.

Anyways, im feeling restless. TOO restless now. Mum and stepdad wasnt working today. Mum was sick. And stupid little sister ruin all my plans for Mum's Birthday tomorrow. Sighs. Had to come out with another plan.

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY
HANIS & MAMAT
last long yeah. [:

2009-03-01T16:37:00.004+08:00

Munch, Munch and Munch.
I shall start with my new year resolution.

I just got home. Went to eat at Sakura International Buffet. It was awesome. I was busy eating eversince i sat there. LOL. I'll upload the pictures soon. Might be going out again soon. IMM again i supposed?

Babyy, im Sorry.
I guess i've misjudge you once again.

2009-03-01T10:11:00.002+08:00

Boredom. Sighs.

001. Real name - Nurul Shahidah Md Yunos.
002. Nickname(s) - Too many to list. Whatever they call, that is it.
004. Zodiac sign - Virgo!
005. Male or female- Female
006. Elementary- Ahmad Ibrahim/Si Ling Primary
007. Middle School - Yishun Secondary
008. High School - I havent sat for my O's :\
009. Eyes color - Blue, I wish. HAHA. Brown.
010. Hair color - Black? :X
011. Long or short - Short!
012. Loud or Quiet - In between.
013. Sweats or Jeans - Uhhh, both.
014. Phone or Camera - Cameraaa!
015. Health freak - You think?
016. Drink or Smoke? - Smoke
017. Do you have a crush on someone? - Nah. I dont have a crush on people anymore. [:
018. Eat or Drink - Both. -.-
019. Piercings - Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
020. Tattoos - Never in my whole life.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing - Dumb question. On my ears of course.
024. First best friend - Uh, Cant remember :D
025. First award - Primary 3, Maths race. Unbelievable, i know!
026. First crush - My second ex-boyfriend. LOL
027. First pet - Never had a pet.
030. First big birthday - Uhhh, all i could remember was the one in school with my classmates. :D

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating - Not munching on anything.
050. Drinking - My own saliva. -_____-"
052. I'm about to - Type?
053. Listening to - Drama, love & relationship by Babyface
054. Plans for today - No plans at the moment.
055. Waiting for - Him to message? :X

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? - No i dont. HAH. But i think i'll change my mind again in future.
059. Want to get married? - Who doesnt?
060. Careers in mind - No idea. Havent thought about it.

WHICH IS BETTER?
068. Lips or eyes - Eyes. I can see things better :D
070. Shorter or taller? - Short.
072. Romantic or spontaneous - Romantic. -.-
073. Nice stomach or nice arms - Nice stomach. LOL
074. Sensitive or loud - In between
075. Hook-up or relationship - Relationship.
076. Trouble maker or hesitant - In between. I guess?

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts - A lot of times
081. Ran away from home - Yeah.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense - Nope.
083. Killed somebody - OMG, Never.
084. Broken someone's heart - Hell yeah.
085. Been arrested - Nope.
087. Cried when someone died - Of course luh.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself - No.
090. Miracles - No.
091. Love at first sight - I guess so.
092. Heaven - Yeah.
093. Santa Claus - No.
094. Sex on the first date - No.
095. Kiss on the first date- No.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now - I am with the person i want to be right now. But, sighs.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life - Currently, No.

2009-02-28T19:53:00.009+08:00

What the fuck.

I dont have the confidence in doing art anymore. Plus, im starting to hate art. Yes, Shahidah H-A-T-E-S art now. Just finished studying. More to Revising. Im getting bored of life. Okey, random. Anyways, that anime he told me to watch, was more about love. Gah, sad. I've been having nightmares eversince im caught with a fever. All because im drenched in the rain for two days. The nightmare is scary okey. Loud voices calling my name. And some other nightmares. Sighs, i wish i dont fall asleep. And i've been imagining things, which disturbs me.

PMS.PMS.PMS.PMS!
screeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam! RAWR.
This time it hurts even more.

Somehow, the past is way better.
Life is getting tougher each day.

Where goes the person whom wished me Good Morning each morning. Asking how am i. Where goes the person whom wished me Goodnight, before i goes to sleep each night. Where goes the person whom wish me Get Well Soon, Have a good rest, when i fall sick. Where goes all your patience towards me. Where goes all the good manners. I dont feel that i know you no more. I miss the way it used to be.

2009-02-27T20:15:00.004+08:00

On the verge of breakdown.
Sighs.

I almost gave up, but no. I shouldnt be.
I shall not be self-conceited.

2009-02-26T21:07:00.004+08:00

This blog is dusty.

I know, it has been weeks since I've last updated. I didnt had the time. This year is really tiring. Ah yes, let me recall what i could ok.

Valentine's.
Went out with Boyfiee,Ezza and Syam. Okey, that day, Boyfiee was super hawt. Dont kembang. So headed to Sentosa. Before that, Syam got separated by us at Cityhall. All because of me for going out of the mrt without warning. We actually missed our stop. Hahah. Had fun at Sentosa. Yes indeed. What i remembered most was, i saw alot of Bangla! OMG. Headed to Vivocity. But before that, there is a terrible fight. LOL. Dont want to say. Anyways, we had Macdonald for dinner. Then headed home. Yes, Bad day. Something happen as i reached home. Privacy.

Project Super Achievers.
It was awesome lah. Motivates us? Could say so. It was an interesting workshop. The only workshop that makes me feel like paying attention to the speaker. Really. Im already missing all those stupid-but-useful energizers. The workshop really did made me know who i am. Gahhh. I miss PSA. ):

Last Saturday
Art class. B-O-R-I-N-G. I didnt want to go in the first place but Zul message me saying that his alone. So dragged my feet to the washroom. Showered, get dressed and rush to school. I came so early. Okey bedek. After art, headed to Macdonald to meet Ezza. Syam reached before her. After that headed home while Ezza spends the time with him. Around 6, met boyfiee under his void deck. Soon, Ezza and Syam came. Headed off to Marsiling. Had dinner before roaming for shoes. After walking around that place, still didnt manage to find a nice shoe. I told you, i dont choose shoes. Bad taste at shoes. Then, headed to Causeway Point, Popular to look for drawing block. I asked for a whole stack but boyfiee looked for me only a piece of drawing block. Made me laugh like hell. Then, we walked home. :D

I've been very moody todayyy. I got angry easily. I didnt forgive Acap earlier. Felt so bad but it is still his fault for ruining my day by splashing water onto me while im so stress with the chemistry and biology test! And not forgetting, the stomach cramp that i had been having for days. Anddddddd also, that nightmare i just had earlier. So dope of me to sleep around seven.

Oh yes, might be flying off to Jakarta in June. MAYBE. Uh-huh. Mum had been looking at the flight tickets online and asking to search for places of attraction in Jakarta.

Im hooked with anime all because of you.

2009-02-10T20:44:00.006+08:00

Great yet tiring time in school.

Im coping with school stuff this year. Had to really paid attention now. Hangout after school. My face never hangout? Slap yourself. Of course i do, but there is limit tooo. I'll be home by seven or latest by 8 now. Saturday is the only day out. Or at times, it will be Friday night. Anyways, Relationship getting better now eventhough im still stuck with my attitude. Gaahhh, I am proud to have youuu. So penyabar. Is that how it's spelled? Whatever.

Today, we had Total Defence presentation in the Library. It was awesome. I couldnt stop laughing. All thanks to Siti Zaharah. The two girls whose in charge of the First Aid booth was supposed to demonstrate to us. But instead, Zaharah and Samuel do the job. Harizah seemed so down today. At least he still carees. Cheer up baby! [:

And yes, talking about feeling down, this is also for Firdaus. Cheer up okay? I dont really have much to say. I want to go read the New Moon book. All thanks to Hanis for borrowing it to me. Now I'm stucked with the book although it's so frigging thick. Gosh, if Mum does saw me reading this book, I guess she will be so shocked. Lol.

Valentineee is on Saturday. Im having a problem. Worst still, birthday on March. I'll have MAJOR problem. ):

2009-02-02T23:16:00.004+08:00

I am more than happy today.
No words can describe how im feeling right now.

Thanks Ezza, Syam and Nadia for making my day! :D
They shoo-ed my PMS away. See, so good of them.
And Nadia misses me! How sweet can she be.
I love them all luh, okey.

THE ONE AND ONLY walking GOLDFISH!

Here is my word for you.
Indeed, eventhough we fought really bad
during Secondary One but somehow,
we ended up being friends until now.
Yes, all those funny moments we had couldnt be forgotten.
EVER.
I miss you luhh.

2009-01-31T21:43:00.018+08:00

Fuck you right back.
Hell yeah, It is a song!

My mind is full of words since yesterday. One, Monday Geography test. Two, there is Art on Monday and i only shade the butterfly. What the hell. Three, Thursday Maths test. Fourth, Something i had to think wisely. I couldnt believe i had to squeeze everything into my brain tomorrow. How can i? Im already killing my brain cells. I shall skip that. I havent been talking much today. Except for saying, " Im going to the shop". Nothing else. Seriously. I dont feel like talking much today. This isnt about the sore throat im having but i dont feel like myself today. Gahh, my handphone was off for the whole day. I dont want any disturbance neither.

Yesterday was alright. I stayed back for art until 3. When i came in, Kynn was there. Just smiled and talked to Hidayah. Soon, Hidayah went home. So im left alone. Doing art is tiring. Then came Dahlia and friends. The chinese couple there was making so much noise. Anyways, i was late by 20-25 minutes upon meeting Ezza and Syam. Met Hanis and Mamat at Raffles Place. Then walked to Arts House. I was quite boring. So yeah, left there and headed to Esplanade. Watched the Chingay. Syam was making me laugh all along. Then headed off to City Hall. And hell ya, we were all running to the MRT Station. It was fun though. Trained down to Yishun as it terminates there. Went out to smoke with Syam and Ezza.

Overall, it was awesome. Except the part where i was being left alone. If it wasnt for Ezza and Syam, i'll be sitting there not knowing what to do. Syam offered to send me home but nah, i dont want. It's already late and he should be sending Ezza and then go back home. So yes, i took the taxi. 4 bucks from Ezza, incase its not enough. I reached home at about 12 plus. Indeed, Im so freaking late. But mum wasnt angry.

Mum's instincts is like Wow. Sighs.

So today, I cleared my mind from everything that is polluting my brain. I'll do all the thinking tomorrow instead. Oh yes, im addicted to that song Asyraf told me about. It was a nice song. Meaningful too. Woah, time flies so fast. It's already February tomorrow. And in 14 days time, it will be Dad's Birthday. Still thinking what shall i buy for him.

Oh yes, I forget. I went to Sentosa Flowers 2009 on Tuesday. It was awesome but packed with people. The flowers was so beautiful. I love the rainbow, and heart shape made by using flowers. On that day, the place was well organized. I saw an old schoolmate. And i met up with Sitty too. Ah, that outing with Aunt, Grandpa and those little kids was superb.

As requested by Zulkhairi Aris, to upload his picture and say this: "The Most Irritating Yet Cute Friend".
Alright Zul, Its done.

I almost forget about those conversation im having right now in MSN.
Pictures on Sentosa Flower will be posted another day.

Blog Updated. [:

2009-01-27T10:42:00.002+08:00

Bad times.

Im back from Kuala Lumpur since yesterday night. On Saturday, we went out at 0530. Was supposed to go out at 0330 but we ended up sleeping. Heavy traffic at Tuas Checkpoint. We got through the Checkpoint around 0900. Then the traffic was slow. Reach Kuala Lumpur about 1500. We stayed at Lanson Place until night. Went to Petaling Street and had dinner somewhere nearby the hotel. I forget where.

Second day, went off to Genting Highlands. It was frigging cold. Very,very cold. Couldnt really see where we were heading. Got lost on finding the others. So had to turn again and again. Worst headache ever! Third day, went to Nilai 3. There is nothing there. But somehow, Uncle made me feel like not going there anymore. He took the long way all because he followed the GPS. Sighs. I feel like vomitting each second.

So yeah, Im home.

Boyfriend isnt here. He went off to Batam early yesterday morning.
I'll wait for his return today [:

2009-01-23T20:36:00.009+08:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH TODAY?!

SICKENING. FREAK. MORON.
DOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
IM SO FUCKED UP.

ARGH!

2009-01-22T20:18:00.004+08:00

Hatreds.

It has been weeks since school started. School was alright. It was just tiring and stressful. It is okay. Only a year. Do it once, do it well. I shall give my bestest shot. I tend not to hate people now. I tend to talk to the others in Art Class like, Nisa and the others. Yeah, they are actually alright. Judging from the cover too much I guess.

Met up with Firdaus Shahmat and Farid Mustaffa today. Firdaus Shahmat might be coming down again tomorrow. Yesyes. Tomorrow will be having 4 period of lessons. Best kan? Then, it is holiday until Tuesday. Back to school on Wednesday. Going off to Kuala Lumpur on Saturday morning at about 5 to 6am. Aunt is going too but she will be heading there a day before us. Boyfriend will be off to Batam on Monday.

Sorry for the very short post. Somehow, my eyes felt so heavy.
Im off to bed early. (:

2009-01-21T22:37:00.004+08:00

Pathetic.

I wonder, why do they love spamming blogs? They are just strangers whose passing by our blog. I love fish? You got to be kidding me. I rarely eat fish. It is good that I didnt use vulgarities towards you. It wouldnt be nice to see and read, isn't it? Im sure it is. Your a stranger, shouldn't you be a little more considerate? It is someone elses blog not your little sister's or cousins blog that you could spam as much as you like. Can I have some respect please? Oh people these days.

Let's drop that topic and move on to other things. :D

Eight Monthsary just past. It was on the 19th. It was such a pity that his sick but it's okay because I still get to meet him. The day turned alright. He sent me the sweetest message ever. Yesyes. Grins. However, the day after that was such a disaster. I am at fault. Indeed, I am. I got pissed off and got frustrated in a sudden. I didnt had the mood to talk. Walked around and we got into a fight. Horrible Fight. I got frighten of him. He was in a savage temper. Dammit. I was in such mess. When I got home, I tend to cool down. So yes, everything was alright now. (:

Today was alright. Except the part where we had to go for assembly. It was so friggin cold sitting at the hall. The show was great but somehow boring cause I didnt understand what exactly the story meant.

Ohh yes, did I mentioned Firdaus.S came down Yishun to meet us? I guess I didnt. Haven't been seeing him for weeks. Uh, Months? I forget when was the last time I met him. Okay, I need to go. There is school tomorrow up till 4PM.

And spammers, Get a life okay? If you can't find a job, go clean up the wall behind your refridgerator. Im sure it is dusty. (:

2009-01-12T23:09:00.005+08:00

Argh! Today sucks.
I swear it does.

Somehow, I felt im dope to be in this situation! I dont understand people at times. What the fuck do they really wants? When someone did a good thing for that person, they tend to make it as if this person did a huge mistake. And end up, in such a teribble mess. Your not the only person whose having a bad time right now. I tried understanding you. I tried listening to you. But for all my effort in trying to do so, i get scoldings and end up in a fight. What the heeeeeeeeeeeell!

Oh Wells, Life Is Unfair.

Art? Dont talk about it. I regret not putting effort in Paper 2. Yes, I really do. Im retaking my Art. Definitely. I wouldnt want a bad result right? Yeah, I shall really do better than i did last year. I shall not do last minute work anymore. Hahaha! Looking at the O'levels student taking their results earlier, i felt so scared to even take the other subjects. Sighs. You know, First though was " I want to drop out". But i know i couldnt. I need to stick to my promises. Yup.

I still need help in Maths and Chemistry though. -___-"
Andddd yes, IF it comes to an end this year, i swear im not going to get involved in it anymore. Im tired of it. Argh!

Skip that part.
Anyways, TP was Superb, Fabulous, EVERY GOOD WORDS. :D
Lol. The short skit by the students at TP was awesome. It was Funny. The school was huge. I thought of going under Designs but somehow, Business courses made me feel so interested in going Poly.

2008-12-31T16:22:00.003+08:00

Somehow, the incident that happened today is meaningful. Yeah, i learn from my mistakes. Quarreling with Aiez was bad. I got angry at first but yeah, im not anymore. Im going to do what Aiez said. Yup, I wont dissapoint Aiez and especially Grandpa. Its my promise. I'll study really hard from next year onwards.

I want to get good education. And then good job with much more pay than my parents right now. I know i can do it. Looking at Aiez cried just now, makes me feel so sad. I wont dissapoint you again. I'll keep my promises that i made to Mum today. I'll study hard.

:D

2008-12-28T02:08:00.003+08:00

School reopening soon. Met one of the relief teacher in our schoo at Grandpa's house earlier. He had been scaring me about O'levels. I guess next year will be a tough life eh.

I couldnt stop thinking. Negative thoughts are polluting my mind. I shall stop putting high hopes on what I wanted or expected. Yeah, I should or else i'll be crying out loud, suffering. I shall accept whatever that is going to happen. Sighs.

Countdown? I guess I wont be there. So whoever is going, have fun then.
Im going to sleep before uh, nevermind.
Bid Farewell.

2008-12-27T13:00:00.002+08:00

I shouldnt have woke up at 2 in the morning. Should have just slept back and not message him. %#@$*&. Argh, forget it. Anyways, went to have dinner at Popeyes yesterday night with Mum's friends and family. Had a good time but wasnt really in a good mood though due to something.

Havent bought school books. I'll buy it on monday with Ezza maybe. Bought school shoe two days ago. Christmas was awesome. Want to know what Mum bought for us? Spongebob Monopoly, HSM Uno, 3 HSM Watch and 3 Chocolates. LOL.

Alrights, i need to go. Going off to Grandpa house.
Toodles!

2008-12-20T01:54:00.002+08:00

Was awaken by Sitty this morning at 10. We had to meet infront of school at 11 but eventually, im late. Asked regarding about my agg. Yesyes, i made it to Secondary 5. Had to study hard next year.

After that sat at Hidayah's void deck. Didnt know where to go. Called Nadia, she was at 737 with Ezza. Heading to Somerset to catch a movie. So we tagged along. But before that, Boyfiee and i accompanied Sitty home to change. Soon, we were already heading towards Somerset. They Cathay was full. We didnt manage to sit nearby the others but its alright. Twilight was awesome!

After Twilight, Asyraf and Farah went different ways. Sitty, Ezza, Nadia, Farid, Boyfiee and i headed to Fort Caning Park. We took pictures. After all the pictures, we sat infront of SMU and ate. Then back home. He sent me home for sure.

Reached home, Mum wasnt around. So just watched television.
Alrights. Thats all. At least i've updated.

2008-12-17T14:09:00.003+08:00

One more day.
Damn, im nervous.

Wont be meeting boyfiee i guess. Oh wells. Im going to the library later on. Had to return little sister's book. Date due already. Anyways, shall update about Sentosa outing.

We met late. All of us were late except for Sitty. Sorry that you had to wait for so long. I even woke up late. Hah! Boyfiee fetch me from home. Train down to yishun. Met up with Fir Rahim, Fir Shahmat, Ezza and Fadil. Headed to Harbourfront. Sitty and Suhai board the train at khatib. Met Jufrie, Jasmine, Radzaly and girlfriend at Sentosa. Didnt had the thought of going into the water but in the end i had to. Had to cheer Boyfiee up.

We stayed there quite long. They had their dinner at Vivo while Ezza, Boyfiee and I had dinner at MacDonald, Harbourfront. Eventually, they didnt wait for us. Boyfiee got frustrated. So Fir Shahmat and Fadil waited for us at Dhoby Ghaut. Okey, sayang korang. We headed home. Had alot of laughters in the train. Boyfiee send me home. Put the coupon on the motorcycle. And thats all for the day. :D

Alrights, that's all.

2008-12-13T22:56:00.002+08:00

its kinda sad looking at shasha this way. listening to her stories made me worried that i'll face the same thing. damn it. they kept repeating that sooner or later his going to leave me and find someone else when he leaves school. how can i not worried. okey, shall not talk about it. makes me sad.

anyways, i've been rotting at home with a melancholy look. mum had been shouting at my ears. quite irritating though. watched television the whole day. okey, not really. i did switch on the laptop but wasnt really using it like how i always do. eversince mum confiscated all laptops, i got bored of it. its like the same routine each day. switch on the laptop, checked friendster & played habbo. thats all i do. im outdated now. haha.

my handphone creating problems again. i receive message like half and hour after the other person sent them. what a dope. im off to play word challenge again. need to wait for aiez to come home today. he might be late. toodles :D

2008-12-12T23:28:00.005+08:00

my eyes feels itchy each night. and each time i rub my eyes, i gets worst. its already one week and it havent recover. anyways, havent asked mum about the outing to sentosa this coming monday. gahh, i want to go. have fun before looking at my results on the 18th. there are mixtures of feelings flowing in my body each time i talked about results. met up with boyfiee earlier today. speaking of him, i had a tiff with him again last night and also today.

he looked through all pictures that i had. all those notes i write on papers. i feel so dope. show start throwing all those rubbish. akid messaged earlier asking when am i treating him to popeyes. i dont have money right now. my maid use it up to buy rice. shall wait. and im supposed to pay afif one box of cigs. damnit.

anyways, mum just came home with 8 different kinds of food. its delicious. fruit tarts and lasagne. *drools* i only ate those 2. the others were mostly prawns, cakes, puffs. its saturday! getting bored of rotting at home each day. haha. at least i got to use the laptop again. rather than watching television more than 12hours straight. as if there is good shows for one whole day or even one whole week.

facebook doesnt really sucks. it wasnt so bad afterall. i prefer facebook than friendster now. the games at facebook is quite awesome eventhough its more like children's game. its cute you know.

happy 1 year anniversary to shasha and firdaus.
which falls on 11/12. :D
didnt had the time to update laa.

and yey. 7 monthsary on the 19th.

okey,im done.

2008-12-10T15:56:00.002+08:00

asked permission from mum to use the laptop.

sembawang park was awesome. waited for nad for quite like 20 minutes? she was freaking late. damn it. headed to sembawang park after that. quite a number of people there. the first person i saw was farid then anwar. speaking of which, anwar fell, hurt his ankle and became so quiet. anyways, i had fun. went off from there at 8. met boyfiee at admiralty. he accompanied me home. and yeah, i miss him hell lots.

marina barrage on sunday was awesome. it was a nice place. had a beautiful scenery. but, no shop. what the f*ck. hah. warehouse sale was freaking me out. adidas and puma sale.

okey, im out of words.

2008-12-08T22:13:00.002+08:00

i may not reply your tags or update my blog for the time being.
after the incident at home, everyone of us couldnt use the laptop.
so yeah, i'll update when i could.

blog on hiatus.

and yes, happy advanced birthday to akid.

2008-12-03T16:04:00.002+08:00

i felt so alive when i finally met the others at 113 yesterday. ahmad stick to his words. he treat me to 3 chocolates. i finally speak to asif. syafiq, akid, zulkhairi, nadia was there. syukri didnt came. he said he will come down today instead but i wont be going there. maybe next time. anyways, had fun. laugh alot. yeah, thanks to syafiq and zul. stupid fight about each others dad. sheila came down for awhile then she headed home to get change. no idea whether she came down again or not. went off from 113 at 1030. akid and asif accompanied me to the busstop. and yeah, im home. but went downstairs a few minutes i step into the house to change coupon. didnt speak a word to mum.

i still dont understand how to use facebook. man, i feel like a noob! LOL.
okey, need to shower. toodles~

2008-12-01T20:15:00.002+08:00

im feeling down just in a sudden. anyways, messaged hidayah earlier. asked her out tomorrow. i dont feel like sitting at home but this stomach cramp wont go away. so does pms. i still couldnt find my warranty card eventhough i find it high and low. all around the house. i should really lock the door when im not at home. little sisters tend to take things out from my room! grr.

had been playing habbo the whole day. didnt really have the appetite to eat. im off to watch television. i missed Suci show again. tsk. toodles

2008-12-01T00:28:00.002+08:00

i got bored at home yesterday. watched hairspray, addams family, transporter and many more. had been infront of the television the whole day. of course i use the computer for a moment. so yeah, sitty messaged that she's home. take good care of yourself and dont fall sick. i didnt really message boyfiee today. no idea why. aiez off to camp today. he was sent by ibu and uncle. havent seen them for weeks! :D

uh, i dont have anything else to post actually. i shall go.
goodnights.

2008-11-30T02:48:00.003+08:00

yesterday was a really tiring trip to KKH. or was it because i havent been going out for 2 weeks? i think so. anyways, woke up about 12 and told mum that i might be going to KKH. she was wandering who was admitted to the hospital. told her sitty was warded and she let me out. headed to boyfiee's blk first. waited at the staircase. he came and we left for town. went to send boyfiee's handphone for service. my handphone was supposed to be sent for service but due to STML, i couldnt find my warranty card. i remember where i last put it, but i dont remember putting it somewhere else in the house. uhh, yeah.

after that, headed to Novena. i swear i couldnt find the shuttle bus. seriously. LOL. we were like walking here and there, looking for the sign. in the end, i found another way to KKH. most of the buses pass by KKH. took a bus to KKH and we finally reach there. soon hajar came with her boyfriend,brother and sister. stayed there until 8. took 980, alighted at infront of Khatib Camp. black parade. it freaks me out. if i were to go back alone, i rather drop down at Novena and trained down to Woodlands. haha! but boyfiee was there, so i shouldnt be too afraid. we didnt sat. really, i got tired. alighted and took 858 back home. finally, i get to sit. my legs couldnt stand it.

boyfiee accompanied me home. got home earlier than dad. and mum didnt message me today. i think that is because she's concentrating on the korean movies. reached home, and watch Suci which was recorded since im not at home. had late dinner or shall i say supper. then played habbo. but i wasnt really in a mood. the laptop was on but im lying on my bed and staring at the screen. my whole body is aching and im having a really bad stomach cramp.the traffic light had turn red again. pms, moodswings are back!

i dont really get what boyfiee said on the phone earlier. but i heard he says later or tomorrow. thats all i get to catch. i think im off to bed.

goodnights.

2008-11-26T05:28:00.000+08:00

if i could scream for the whole world to hear, i'll scream.
if i could have no feelings, i would want to.
if i could stab my heart whenever it hurts, i'll do so.
if i could jump down the building for those life ruiners to see, loved to.
IM STARTING TO HATE LIFE. SCREW YOUUUUUU! ARGH!!

and now i cant sleep! this is driving me nuts.

2008-11-25T18:19:00.004+08:00

i didnt meet him today. his out with sitty to find jobs. ah, its okey. i dont mind. even someone told me to.. nevermind. forget it or i'll be blamed. anyways, asked nadia to come down woodlands to occupy my time. she came with her boyfriend. yes, they made my day. his boyfriend was friendly eventhough he doesnt look like his friendly.

i just got home. had been talking about twilight today. might be watching it with nadia when its already in cinemas. anddddddd, i might be going out tomorrow but no idea with who. mum told me to go Wisma. damn it. okey, got to go.

2008-11-25T01:44:00.005+08:00

i met boyfiee todayyyy! FINALLY. i feels awkward in the first place. i thought for a moment should i talk first or wait. but im sure he wont talk. so made the first move. huggggggggg. i miss him. and im glad we met. ily truckloads. (:

and yes, i got a new frienddddd! (:
Jaakko and his from Finland. *grins*
and his good in drawing on MSN paint.
p.s made me jealous by his drawings.

2008-11-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

im rotting at home. man, i'll be decomposed as soon as holidays are over. okey bedek. anyways, was left at home with my maid. i made pancakes! its nice, really. even my maid says so. ate it with ice cream. damn, it was superb. but it was kinda burnt. LOL. cause it was sticking to the pan. but who cares!

mummy ask whether i want to tag along. she said she want to look at cars or something like that. i forget. and oh, she said nikky will be there. but i said i dont want. it will be much more boring. she brought along little sisters clothes. urhh, i dont know what for. maybe they went out with home clothes or something. cause bibik said they went out for breakfast. WHICH, they didnt wake me up. ah, i can cook for myself.

watched Suci. i almost cried. yeah, the show was hilarious but sad. after that, watched Enchanted again. fairytales, happy endings. do we get happy endings? no idea. oh yeah, watched REC trailer. creeps me but i still want to watch it. haha. sitty asked out on thursday. watch movie. idk what movie. oh wait. i know what movie but i forget. im lazy to check my inbox.

its monday tomorrow. a week more to go. before im NOT grounded. sedih siak. anyways, hajar's birthday on thursday. i'll try begging mum if i can go out. havent meet her for months. i think so. whatever it is, i miss her alot! really.

i need to go. before mum starts to be a radio. nag and nag until the radio is switched off.

2008-11-23T14:38:00.003+08:00

i guess everythings back to normal? i think so.

anyways, im being left at home again as i woke up late. aiez just came home. i dont know where is he from. watching cloverfield. i wanna watch Rec. okey im bored. im off to play habbo. will update again maybe in the evening or night. (:

2008-11-23T00:26:00.004+08:00

im rotting at home. another week to go and then im not grounded anymore. i guess i should ask them come by Woodlands again to hangout. or maybe ask nadia come by here so that i wont feel lonely at home. i've been doing the same thing today, repeatedly. such as, switch on the comp, switch off the comp, switch the television, switch off the television, had lunch, had dinner, and back to comp. mummy went to perm her hair ytd. and oh, we were editing pictures using the iPhone ytd morning. we were using fake hairs on aiez's picture. he looks good with look straight hair. blonde! LOL. really. especially when his botak right now due to NS.

i miss aiez. seriously. he talks to me every single night and wish me goodnight before going to sleep. he disturbs me every morning. hitting my back until i wake up. and also, cooking that egg in the middle of the night. ahh, i wish he was here right now. anyways, not talking to boyfiee feels so different. but i felt relief now. thanks to boyfiee's sister for the advices. calling you killa feels awkward right now. shall get use to it eh? haha. of course to sitty,akid and zul. and err, thanks syukri for the cigg? LOL. :D

omg, boyfiee just msged me. :D
thats all for today.
someone's drinking :(

2008-11-22T03:12:00.003+08:00

breaking up is a no-no solution, said by sitty. but how am i going to survive this way? i could change but not in a snap. i will change for you if thats the bestest way to keep this going. but i wont be alive if you keep acting this way. talking like _____. you know your down, what about me? im feel worst as im the cause of all this!

but yeah, i demand for one thing. stop blaming me for everything. and even if its not because of that promise, i am still not ready to go through everything alone. there wont be anymore laughters with you, outings with you, fooling around with you. no one will accompany me home anymore. i'll miss everything about you. the way you care about me, the way you showered me with love, the way you comfort me when i cry and the hugs i had each time i meet you. posting this makes me feel more sad. haish. but im sure his feeling worst.

haish. i dont know what to do.
sitty told me not to meet him often. but i couldnt. not meeting him for a day feels like there is somethings missing. just like yesterday. and the day before(although we met for awhile). and also the day before that. with you around, i can see all the different colours in my life but if i were to really let you go, there will be only two colours left. what should i do? suggestions! ):

my lips were swollen. maybe due to fever. uh-huh.
whatever. goodnites.

2008-11-21T22:33:00.003+08:00

im updating for the second time today. Akid, Zul and Syukri cheered me up today. brainwashed me with positive thoughts, especially Zul. thanks guys for coming down Woodlands. i really appreciate it. i'll think twice about it. and thanks for being a good listeners.

at about 8, walked to Grandpa house with Zul. his going to his sister's house which is just beside Grandpa's blk. i didnt remember it was Ani birthday. so yeah, they ordered pizzas. and there was chocolate cake! its nice. really. *drools* i bring home some! so headed home at about 9. played catching with little sisters. man! we were exhausted as we reach home. we were all taking huge breath. LOL. i had fun :D

mummy's friends are here. the ones who followed to madjack. that err, auntie, went into the house and started asking me how am i with him. all i could answer is " I DONT KNOW ". and she weent, gado laaa ni. just smiled. i need to go. i want to have lateeeeeeee dinner or shall i say supper. then i have thinkings to do.

i love my family! i love little sisters eventhough i dislike them.
er, yeah. i love grandpa mostt! (:
and.. i love boyfiee.

2008-11-21T15:16:00.002+08:00

i dont know what i just said to him but i couldnt stand it anymore. i guess, i aint the one for you. i couldnt make thing right. i cant even listen to you. dont you think i shall step off? dont you think you will not be hurt anymore without me? you dont have to spend all your money to buy me gifts anymore. you dont have to waste your time and energy to meet me here. you dont have to waste your prepaids or spend your bills on just trying to ask how am i. and you wont fall sick as there wont be anymore fights.

i blame myself for everything. but i couldnt see you hurt anymore.
ily alot k.

2008-11-21T04:07:00.001+08:00

greetings.

im editing my post. im bored actually. cant go to sleep but my head is spinning. giddy giddy housefly. and my temperature havent decrease. i really didnt believe what happened today. i am stubborn. i wont listen. and its always my fault. then, i shall apologize again for spoiling the day, spoiling your mood, making you hurt, making you dissapointed, making you confused andd whatever. grr!

lets drop that topic. it hurts me deep down and my fever wont be cured if i kept thinking. im currently chatting with Afif, ex slps. his helping me out with something. shh! secret. its between me and him. no clues. im also chatting with sitty. told her to wait for a moment though cause im editing my blogskin, which is done now. nothing fancy. just a simple layout.

i miss my friends though. i just felt that way after hanging out at 113 few days ago. Aqhari asked me ytd, when am i coming down 113 again to hang out with them. told him that i'll come by after im not grounded. ee, being grounded makes me eat more ice-creams at home cause i get dissapointed and frustrated easily. oh wells. just another 1 week to go.

i need to save up money. pay up for something and also buy something. which is also something i couldnt tell. its a secret too! alrights, i better be going. i shall entertain Sitty since i couldnt go to bed. plus, my brain is already empty. i dont know what else should i type.

oh, i forget something.
boyfiee, dont speak that way anymore. i am truly sorry. i didnt mean to hurt you. its not that i dont want to listen to you. you dont have to give me any surprises. your the surprise i get every morning. i didnt get to spend the time with you yesterday and also the day before. though it was a terrible 6monthsary, but i shall put it aside and not create fights. haish. ilysm, and YOU meant alot to me.

bid farewell.

2008-11-20T01:14:00.002+08:00

greetings.

i cant go to sleep. my minds just couldnt stop thinking but i dont really know what was it. and i kept feeling worried. uhhh? anyways, went blog hopping as im really bored and found this. dont know whether its true or not ah. hahaha. but it does made me laugh a little.

BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE~

1. ANGKATKAN BEG
B4: Come syg, let me carry the bag 4 u. Kesian u...
After: Beg u pun u malas nak bawak. Lain kali jgn bawa beg ah!

2. TERSUNGKUR BATU
B4: Syg, u ok? Bodoh nye batu! Nak pegi hospital?
After: Jln betul2 la! Buta ke? Batu tu macam besar pun tak nampak!

3. PAKAI SEXY
B4: Lawanye u pakai baju ni. *Turn on!*
After: Hey, tak tau malu eh? Tgk nampak longkang tu! Babat berlapis2! Awak pakai, saya yg malu tau!

4. MANJA DI PUBLIC
B4: Manjanye syg i ni. Mcm i nak gigit2, nak romen dgn u skrg jugak!
After: Oi! Org tgk ah! Dah tua pun tak malu ke?

5. KEMPUNAN
B4: U nak makan burger ramly? Ok, besok i masuk JB belikan u eh syg..
After: Burger McDonald pun sama pe! Jgn cerewet ah! Makan je!

6. KECANTIKAN
B4: Kalau pakai makeup tebal pun dia kata cantik.
After: Ape ni make up mcm tepung gomak?! Wayang pekji pun kalah tau! Bulan2 asyik beli make up je!

7. KEKAYAAN
B4: U takde bnyk duit pun, i tetap syg u. Kekayaan tk menjanji kan kebahagiaan.
After: Tu la, dulu tak nak blajar betul2. Skrg baru nak menyesal! Duit tong sampah bulan ni camne?

8. SEX
B4: Kalau kita kawin, hari2 i nak *ahem* dgn u.
After: Eh, i penat tau! Ingat i robot ke? Gatal!

9. KESABARAN
B4: Sudah lah syg, jgn merajuk. Ye lah , i sa lah . I minta maaf. Maafkan i eh?
After: Dah buat sa lah tak nak mengaku. Tau nak merajuk je. Awak punye pasal ah! Tak kuasa aku!

10. MASAKAN
B4: Sedapnye u masak (walaupun tak sedap)
After: Mak u tak ajar masak ke? Ni Nasi lemak ke nasi basi?

11. DUIT NO PROBLEM
B4: Syg, kita mkn dekat restoran mahal tu eh? Mahal takpela, skali skala...
After: Mak oi! Pe mahal! Da la! Mee grg mamak pat haig rd lagi sedap. Tak mau ah!

12. LUV PEGI LUV BALIK
B4: Bye syg, I luv u too. Muaks! Miss u lah syg. (Padahal smlm baru jumpe)
After: Ah, ok bye! Tak bole lah . Kawan i ade ni! Bye la bye la

anyways, im tired laa. really. its like everyday is a boring day for me.
daily rountine. switch on the laptop, switch off the laptop. switch on the television, switch off the television. and blablabla. grr!
im off for now.

bid farewell

2008-11-19T18:57:00.002+08:00

greetings.
im tagged by sitty and ina.
both were the same.
so here it goes.

The rules & regulations:
1) Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2) People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little know facts as well as state this rule clearly
3) At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged & list their names
4) No tag back.

[1] cant sit at home or i'll be walking in and out of the kitchen
[2] miss 4N5 badly.
[3] sucks in mathematics and chemistry. hahahaha
[4] get jealous easily. x_x
[5] believe in what goes around comes around
[6] want to go paris! :D
[7] i sneeze at least 5 times every morning. =x
[8] i'll bathe late afternoon when i wake up. XD
[9] i dont hate but dislike certain people.
[10] i tend to create problem each and every time.

Now, its your turn to write about yourself .

` shasha.
` suzzie.
` killa.
` harnisha.
` farid.
` and
` whoever
` who
` wants
` to.

2008-11-14T01:43:00.002+08:00

greetings.

went out to Lavender again. yesyes, ICA building. boyfiee wants to renew his passport. we were blur as we didnt know what to do. hahaha! but its done. after that headed back to woodlands. went home. cook beef pita for boyfiee. i cook. i know, unbelievable. LOL :D

after that headed to causeway, was supposed to change liyana's socks but there isnt any. so followed boyfiee to meet his friend. then walk around causeway and saw mum at popular. mum was buying assessment books for little sisters. when i went out, boyfiee's sister and her boyfriend was there. hah. they followed to the bazaar next to causeway. mum's treat. but boyfiee doesnt wants anything. AS IF! :P

thought of hanging out with them nearby my house but in the end, stepfather was on his way home. so i have to be home. there is always next time. i guess? anyways, settled down at home. ate, played habbo, chat. bored!

bid farewell

2008-11-13T00:50:00.003+08:00

greetings.

on 11 november, headed to ICA building at Lavender but it was closed. so trained down to habourfront and walk around VivoCity. soon after uncle called followed by mum. had to go to Thomson Medical Centre. trained down to Novena and took a bus to Thomson Medical Centre. had a newborn cousin! yey. i forget her name. so complicated. really. :D

on 12 november, i sat home. boyfiee asked me out to suntec but i didnt want to follow for some reasons. so yeah, played habbo with zaily the whole day. its tiring though. my eyes had been staring the computer screen for hours.

and yes, i've been tagged by boyfiee's sister.
at least there is something to make this post longer.
HAHAHA :D

Top 10 most favourite foods
1. cheezy mashedpotato(instantly made by me. LOL! )
2. waffle with ice cream on top.
3. chicken pita
4. mummy's spaghetti
5. carrotcake!
6. go
7. figure
8. out
9. your-
10 self. :D

10 things i love doing
1. spending my time with boyfiee! :D
2. habboing
3. sleeping
4. drawing
5. walk around malls.
6. talking craps
7. window shopping
8. camwhore
9. eat skittles! :D
10. talking to myself.

5 things i love doing when im emo
1. eat chocolates! definitely
2. sleep
3. ignore people
4. throw everything which is on my bed.
5. scribble on papers

5 types of guys i adore
1. independent
2. humble
3. honest countenance
4. honorable
5. faithful

5 things i love doing wen im happy
- it depends on who i am with.
so couldnt write them down. :D

5 things i wish to happen
1. go to PARIS!
2. relationship to last. really :)
3. have a bright future
4. be someone.
5. everything to stay the way it is :D

5 top most addictive playlist
1. I wanted you
2. Fall
3. Damaged
4. About you now
5. Aint no party

5 person i wish to tag
1. SUZZIE! :D
2. ahmad
3. hanis
4. sitty
5. ezza

alrights done.

2008-11-11T01:29:00.011+08:00

oh yeah, i wasnt looking at the time.
but its still 11 november.
so here is what i need to say,

HAPPY SIXTEEN BIRTHDAY
NUR HARIZAH.
may your wish come true :D
and smile throughout the day as it is your day.
doesnt mean i dont meet you, i dont remember.

and not forgetting,

HAPPY 11 MONTHSARY
SHASHA AND FIRDAUS.
last long okey.
:D

GOODNIGHTS!

2008-11-10T23:15:00.002+08:00

greetings.

lets recall what i did on the weekends. on saturday, went to causeway and had our lunch at pizzahut with my family. aunt's family was there too. there were many of us that we ordered up to 3 pizzas. okey best. after that we headed to NUH to see grandpa. quite a number of people went to visit him on saturday. cousin and i were sitting on that massaging chair. what do they call it? i dont know. uncle bought food from arnolds. it was nice but we didnt ate much cause we are going for late dinner. so we had our dinner at newton. after dinner, headed home.

on sunday, met nadia and boyfiee. mum said that they are heading to the hospital but in the end they left me. so settled down at home with my maid. played habbo until night falls.

and for today. boyfiee treat me to a movie. watched the coffin. creeps me, really. before and after the movie, we were spending our time at the arcade. okey, saket hati. haha! keep on losing. he wouldnt want to give up. soon after, boyfiee's sister came with her boyfriend. so they also spent their time in the arcade, again. after they were done, boyfiee accompanied me home. i did have fun today! (:

oh yes, i know the both of you wont fight for long. hahaha! you guys are so immature.
for now, im off to habbo. zaily and boyfiee waiting for me.

hahaha!

bid farewell.

2008-11-07T01:07:00.005+08:00

greetings.

hah. i've been having great time with boyfiee this week eventhough there is always fights. eventually, we didnt fight today. thanks to him for making me laugh since afternoon until night. i love boyfiee!

we went to the hospital to visit grandpa yesterday. he accompanied me. most of the time, we were laughing. wacky faces. he does look cute with his teeth. LOL! and he doesnt knows which is nose and which is mouth. okey bedek. i really want tomorrow and any other days to be like today. its fun! :D

i dont know about tomorrow. its either i go out with them or go to the hospital. boyfiee is working tomorrow. im going to miss him. seriously.

bid farewell.

2008-11-05T23:50:00.002+08:00

greetings.

have been going to town lately. firdaus and boyfiee were looking for jobs and i followed them. 3 days straight. yesterday, i woke up late. seriously. shasha messaged me twice but i didnt replied. haha! i was awake at 10 plus. quickly took my bathe. and rushed to yishun to fetch shasha from her block. after that trained down to orchard to meet the two guys.

okey, i swear im tired. im not a town person. i only know how to go certain places. even if the building is right infront of me, i wont know what building it is. dope. laugh out loud. anyways, we were at shawhouse as fir told us to go underpass. but eventually, it was the wrong underpass. hahaha! so we walk back and go to the other underpass. walked to wisma then taka. we were tired so we sat outside taka. let them find us.

things didnt go well between me and him in the first place but thanks to shasha for scolding me. hahaha! if it wouldnt for her, i wouldnt have talk to him. but have to thank fir as well for helping out. so everything's fine. then shasha was hungry. we trained down to habourfront and ate at banquet. fir treat boyfiee and me. we ate carrot cake. yumm. :D

walk around vivo, sat at the rooftop. fun luh. after that fir and shasha headed off to SGH. i was about to reach dover when aunt message me that she just left NUH. so we headed to causeway point. walk around and suddenly mum came. she ask whether we would like to eat at mad jack. at first we dont want but after that we change our minds. we followed so that we could go home late. plus, we will be home without an empty stomach. hahaha! i was delicious. had fun but i feel so uneasy sitting in the car. boyfiee should know why. kankankan? heh!

today went out again. trained down to somerset. went to cineleisure as they dont want to go for their interview at vivocity. they applied for work there. bumped into jufrie and jasmine there. after that headed home while firdaus went to meet firdaus rahim.

okey, i'll try to make tomorrow a happy day for the both of us. i will try avoid quarrels and fights. ILY. (:

bid farewell.

2008-11-04T00:22:00.002+08:00

greetings.

went out to town just now with firdaus, ahmad, akid, asif, zulkhairi and boyfiee. after that headed to NUH with firdaus and boyfiee. then they hang around at my house. accompanied firdaus as he wants to take a cab then walk with boyfiee to the traffic light and headed home.

im really in a bad mood. seriously.
argh!

2008-11-01T23:06:00.007+08:00

greetings.

sorry for not updating much nowadays. im getting lazier plus, im usually out. it seems like every single day i went out of the house. even if its just outside my house, it will took me hours to get back inside. really, aint joking.

as per usual, i cant live a day without a quarrel/fight. i would always fight with boyfiee. and its like a routine each day. ahh, i shall try very hard to avoid fighting on small matters from now on. i've grown up, learn!

on 30th october, went out to ECP. celebrated sitty's birthday. it was fun. not because i got pushed into the water twice by him but because we spent our day together. eventually, harizah didnt tagged along due to her personal problems. november is here. we already have plans! :D

on 31st october, i accompanied boyfiee to the doctor. after that he treat me to a movie. okey, he treated me to a movie many2 times. we watched high school musical 3. it was awesome laa! he wanted to watch the coffin, which i dont want to watch. it freaks me out watching the trailer. ekk!

i cant wait for 19 november, really. 6 monthsary. yeys! (:
i'll update very soon.

and yes, i've relinked those who had told me to do so.
bid farewell

2008-10-19T01:12:00.003+08:00

greetings.
i really had fun this week. i had been spending alot of time with boyfiee and nadia. sentosa on wednesday was awesome. and so was the house bunny movie. thursday watched movie again, oh baby, and it wasnt that bad afterall. and friday, went for raye. and the ones who went were mostly guys. yes, i behaved myself. i know what i could and not do.

yesterday, met the others at 604. i was late as usual. headed off to sengkang, syukri house. then followed by zaily, anwar, amin, hakim, asyraf, khairul and finally, my house. we didnt had time to go bear's house as they wanted to hang around at my house. eventually, i made boyfiee dissapointed. i forget to message him when we were on our way to my house. it really slipped off my mind until he called nadia's handphone at around 11+. and currently, i've been talking in a harsh tone to him. i really didnt mean anything but i need time to feel relief. next week, going out again.

sitty, i've updated.
and blog will be on hiatus after today.
i'll be gone for good. (:

2008-10-10T02:49:00.003+08:00

greeting readers! :D
sorry that my blog became so dusty. had been busy playing habbohotel with zaily, that bad habbo guide. and i've made a new friend too!

i didnt know why we kept fighting but i hurt him too much already. i dont know how to decrease all that. anyways, i headed down to vivo with the others today. boyfiee wasnt there. so was fatimah. they had their own reasons. met nadia at causeway. window shopped for a while and waited until 1530, which was the time we were supposed to meet the others. headed off to yishun to meet the others. fir a, fadil, adli, raihaan, fir s, shasha and harizah was there. so we train down to city hall. oh yes, something funny happened when the train stopped at dhoby ghaut. hahahahha. anyways, we went to marina square and bought ice cream cake from swensons.

then trained down to harbourfront,vivocity. met radzaly and girlfriend. went up to the rooftop. set up the cake. tried to put the candles but the chocolate was still frozen. tried to surprise jasmine but the candles blew off. sedih sia. and suddenly, everyone was looking for something. they didnt give the knife. baik pe. so radzaly and girlfriend plus fir a went to buy a knife. it took some time. cause they went to buy plates as well. while waiting, took pictures. :D

so they came back with the plate and knife. by the time, the cake is starting to melt. the cake taste good. jasmine opened her birthday present infront of us. HAHAHAHA. kecoh sey! -_______-"

after that, went down to banquet to have our dinner. after dinner, you know i know at the carpark. then jasmine, raihaan and juf seperate from us. they were going somewhere else. i didnt know where radzaly and girlfriend went to. so we walk to harbourfront centre, macdonald, as shasha needs to buy food for i dont know who. then trained down to yishun. oh yes, shasha and fir s headed off to SGH. so its left with nad, afad, ezza, fir a and adli.when we reach, adli and harizah went their seperate ways while the four of us hangout until 2130. soon, fadil and fir a went to seal their ciggs. so nadia and i walk on our own. nadia took the bus with me and im home! many2 bangla today.

ate mooncake which has chocolate in the middle of it. and in the chocolate was champagne. IT TASTE SO BAD. i feel like i want to puke. haha :D

i meeting boyfiee later. i miss him badly! ):
too bad he couldnt tag along. oh wells.

lastly, happy sixteen birthday jasmine. :D
sorry that we couldnt make the bestest birthday for you
but we tried our best. hahaha!

im off to bed~
bid farewell.

2008-10-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

greetings.

yesterday was really a tiring day. i fall asleep after making boyfiee wait for me to message him. i am sorry. my eyes felt so heavy that i fell asleep in less than a few minutes after replying his message. oh yes, i swear infront of this laptop, i wore pink yesterday. -__________-"
that sucks.

can i continue this next time i update?
i need to go. off to bed again. haha
selamat hari raya! :D

bid farewell.

2008-09-29T19:47:00.005+08:00

greetings.
i got this from ezza's blog. lets start. :)

1)Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket ?
- DEFINITELY PARIS! no where else interest me. but rome is ok too :)

2)What's your favourite thing to do ?
- DRAWINGGGGGG! :B

3)Do you think money can buy happiness ?
not everytime. it might bring happiness when you really want to buy that something.

4)If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be ?
never thought of it before.

5)Things you can't live without.
i need the people around me.

6)What are you afraid to lose ?
my friends. and definitely, him.

7)If you win $1 million dollars, what would you do ?
give it to grandpa and mum. and the others, save it for the future use.

8)What do you dream of doing in the future ?
good passion. and a career which will make me be better in art.

9)List down 3 good points about the person who gave you this survey.
a good listener,caring and she rocks my underpants. :D

10)What makes you happy ?
my life flowing smoothly~

11)What type of person do you hate the most?
two faced. i cant help it.

12)If you have a super power, what would it be?
no idea. be someone who could answer ever questions correctly? LOL.

13)Would you go for happiness or money?
both. we wont be happy without money. i'll suffer! LACK OF EVERYTHING. haha :D

14)Who do you think is the most important people in your life?
priority is my mum and grandpa. followed by dad, boyfiee and friends.

15)If you have a boyfriend, would you die for him?
what a difficult question. if his worth for me to die for, sure.
but i still have a long way to go. :\

16)Who's the last person who hugged you?
my boyfriend! :D

17)What is the one thing you want to do badly right now?
i want to finish up my n'level and o'level art. but at this moment, i want him to be away from his bad mood. its worrying.

18)Who are you close to?
besides my family and boyfiee, it would be nadia,harizah and anwar.

19)Are you courageous enought to tell the person you like him?
depends on the person.

20)If you could do one thing all over again what would it be?
take back all my harsh words i threw on someone for some reasons.

21)3 things that scare you.
BANGLA! LOL. creepy crawlers and the person above.

22)3 things that you like/love the most.
currently, im loving habbo. haha. i love pictures of scenery and i love arts.

23)3 important things in your room.
the fan, my bed and of course, MY PILLOW! i need that pillow or i cant sleep well. :D

24)7 people to do this questionnaire.
a-n-y-b-o-d-y! :D
who is free to do so. hah

okey, mum saw my report book. 11 points, and she is already angry.
im so dead. im off for now.

bid farewell.

I HATE YOU! argh!
this is killing me.

2008-09-27T10:41:00.004+08:00

greetings bloghoppers.

back to update. i havent been myself this week. sorry sitty, if i acted differently towards you this week. and sorry boyfiee for starting a fight and made you feel so down yesterday. i didnt meant to throw tantrums at you people or whatever laa. and thanks shasha, fir, ezza and anwar for the help yesterday.

this week had been so restless. there isnt anything to do in school. escaped from combined humanities lessons when n'level is just next week. my brain doesnt have anymore free spaces to add in more informations. okey, bedek. im tired of studying laa. thank god art was over! but not totally over. we still have to do paper 2. what the fuck. more time wasted. 2 more days in school and we are done. i can wait.

this year doesnt seem to be the same as the other years. it felts so different. people are usually excited as hari raya is coming but this year, i dont feel excited as before. it feels like its just a normal day. what a year. -_____-"

yesterday was a tiring day for me, seriously. i had to meet mum at raffles by 5. i was late by one and a half hour because i had to settle things with boyfiee and i had to help take aiez pants at metro, causeway point. reached raffles at about 6.30. headed off to JB with mum and aunty emily. i've bought my shoe. i have a lot of high heels at home so i only bought one while mum bought three. im going to buy shoes again after aunty emily get married.

i swear im feeling so tired today. didnt have a good sleep as my back is aching. okey, i want to get my bath and study. i'll focus on biology and geography only. oh yeah, speaking of which, i havent received my report book yet. teacher wasnt there to give it out. nevermind. its better that way cause i know my points wont be good. haha.

bid farewell.

2008-09-19T05:46:00.001+08:00

i dont have the time to update yet.
still rushing on my art work.
i'll find the time okey. maybe weekends.

HAPPY 4 MONTHSARY! (:

2008-09-09T05:50:00.005+08:00

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN NADIA
may all your wish come true
aku sayang kaw laa!
:D

and you, listen to this song.
i will be by avril lavigne :)

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Cause without you I cant sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah

And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

2008-09-08T21:05:00.008+08:00

changed my mind in letting my blog on hiatus. i may not be in the mood to do anything but i should not let my readers be involved too. i'll keep on updating okey but as for today, i'll just post a lyric and do a survey i found from friendster. it is a nice song actually though.

a song by colbie caillat - the little things.
(knew it from apian's blog) :D

The little things, you do to me are
Taking me over, I wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating
My feet are stuck here, against the pavement
I wanna break free, I wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by

So back up back up take another chance
Don’t you mess up mess up
I don’t wanna lose you
Wake up wake up this ain’t just a thing that you
Give up give up don’t you say that I’d be
Better off better off,
sleeping by myself and wondering
If I’m better off better off, without you boy

So don’t just leave me hanging on

And every time, you notice me by
Holding me closely, and saying sweet things
I don’t believe, that it could be
You speaking your mind and, saying the real thing
My feet have broke free, and I am leaving
I’m not gonna stand here, feeling lonely but
I don’t regret it, and I won’t think this
Was just a waste of time

But don’t just leave me hanging on

ARE YOU:
►Perfect: Nobody's perfect.
►Tall: average? i aint that short. :\
►In your pajamas: Nah. i dont wear pajamas.
►Left handed: No.
========================================
LAST:
►Friend you saw: Nur Harizah
►Talked to on the phone: Boyfiee
►Person to text you: Faiz Iskandar
►Is today better than yesterday: worst.
========================================
FAVORITE:
►Number: 23
►Color: purple and green.
►Food: Idk.
►Place: school i guess.
========================================
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did
this morning when you got up?
► watched cartoons on television.
Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
► yes, those words that he said.
Q: What's the last movie you watched
in theaters?
► dreamgirls.
Q: Where is the last place you went?
► the kitchen. hahaha!
Q. Do you smile a lot?
► depends on the mood i am on that day.
Q: Do you wish upon stars?
► not really.
Q: Are you a friendly person?
► what do you think?
Q: Where did you sleep last night?
► i didnt get to sleep last night.
Q: Why did you sleep there?
► -
Q: When was the last time you cried?
► after school just now.
Q: What was your last thought before
going to sleep last night?
► thought of having a great day which i had with him before. but, it didnt went that way.
Q: Rate life as of right now, one
being bad, ten being great?
► 7
Q: What do you hear right now?
► sound effects from the televion show.
Q: Does anything hurt you right now?
► too many things.
Q: What's your favorite month?
► AUGUST!
========================================
EMOTIONS:
Are you missing someone right now?
► definitely yes.
Are you single?
► nope. i am blissfully attached.
Are you tired?
► too tired. restless/ worn out.
========================================
BASICS:
►Real name? Nurul Shahidah
►Age? sixteen
►Eye color? Black? Dark Brown ?
►Zodiac sign? Virgo.
►Male or female? Female
►Married? not yet.
►Crushing? nope.
►Smart? Ask the teachers.
►Hair color? was supposed to be natural black. HAH.
►Sweats or Jeans? no idea.
►Phone or Camera? Phone&Camera.
►Health freak? -
►Righty or lefty? Righty.
========================================
FIRSTS:
►First best friend? in secondary school, NADIA BTE HAMZAH.
►First award? Primary 6, maths race.
►First enemy? that particular person.
►First pet? tortoise! :)
►First vacation? Idk.
========================================
CURRENTLY:
►Eating? No.
►Drinking? No.
►Listening to? the little things by colbie caillat.
►Plans for tomorrow? no idea yet.
►Waiting for? him to get back to himself and talk to me again.
========================================
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE
GENDER:
►Lips or eyes? Eyes.
►Shorter or taller? Taller.
►Romantic or spontaneous? Romantic.
►Sensitive or loud? Sensitive.
►Hook-up or in a relationshp? -
========================================
HAVE YOU EVER:
►Drank bubbles? when im still young. uh-huh.
►Lost glasga kepikses/contacts? k wtf.
►Ran away from home? yup.
►Broken someone's heart? yup.
►Been arrested? Nope.
========================================
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
►Do you like someone? i like everyone but i love someone.
►Are you seriously happy with
where you are in life? right now, i really am.

2008-09-08T13:05:00.004+08:00

One heartbreak is like a thousand lessons.
Loving again is learning them.

- Sandra Mckendry

2008-09-08T00:13:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADEKKU!
(adek whom comes from nowhere and had different parents.)
may all your wish come true.

2008-09-07T20:03:00.002+08:00

here are the pictures i took yesterday. :)

2008-09-07T10:52:00.003+08:00

greetings.

it seems like no one could answer that question i gave. the answer is LAIR. i got that question from my primary 2 sister, Liyana. see, how hard primary 2 science is. anyways, went to yio chu kang yesterday. Isla Rose Headley is so damn cute. that place is so cool laa! their house is so freaking nice. yes2. the cat, whiskey, has a very fury fur. i'll upload pictures next time okey. they speak gooood english too. so i didnt bother to talk. hah! and once again, wine does have a bad smell. haha. and oh, i miss boyfiee so much laa. ):

im off for now. i'll update more soon.
bid farewell.

2008-09-06T12:06:00.011+08:00

The blue clouds, they spell out your name
The darkest nights, you shine in them
I love you & I can imagine
I f you're not here with me

It's early days but I know for sure
That what I feel is real sincere
Let's make this, the best time of our lifes
Be my better half

I'll give you my world
I'll treat you nice
Cos for my love
I'll sacrifice

Anything I could
Everything I would

My love
You're everything I could ask for
Your smile makes me happy
Your tears makes me sad
And I know for sure
This is the best feeling I ever had

Your love
Brighten my dimmest light
Make my heart beat faster than before
As days pass I'm gonna love you more
I promise

I wanna say something to you
There's no one else that swept me off my feet like the way you do
And all I want is you
I promise that our love would shine if you let me with you

greetings.

firstly, i miss this song, my love by sallys rejex. haha. okey seriously, this week is so tiring. it was supposed to be one week school holiday but i had to school for 4 days straight. that is because on monday i didnt went to school. i was already late for art. if not it will be 5 days straight. what the heck. social studies is a total disaster! for the SBQ, i dont understand. what a weird question. english, i dont know if i did the right format. different kinds of format were used by my friends. can i survive? :\

okey, yesterday had art. boyfiee said he wanted to wake me up at 0730 but instead, i had to wake up on my own as he didnt hear the alarm ringing. i woke up at 8 and get dressed. hanis messaged if i want to meet her first. i said anything in the first place but in the end, i told her that i'll meet her in school as im late. so headed to school. did my art. painted the clothes, hair and bag. didnt paint the faces cause i dont know how.

hanis went home first. hidayah and jasmine went for remedial. so its left with me and syazwani. we stayed until 1545 then headed home. walked together with her until jiemin primary then walked on my own. while walking at 736, someone shouted my name from far. i recognise the voice so i didnt turn. the person called again but this time i turn and look. ah-hah! someone who had dark skin tone. who? it was my primary schoolmate, izzul. shit you. so i walk away.

went to boyfiee's blk. waited at the staircase. asked him if he wants to break fast outside as harizah asked us out. then walked back home with him. had my bath and got dressed. went out and walk to causeway point. sitty was waiting for us at banquet alone. it was still early so we walked around for a moment. survey the handphones then went to meet sitty. soon, khai came. followed by nadia, harizah and ahmad.

after break fasting, nadia,boyfiee and i walked around causeway while the others went to the bazaar. okey, i had been wanting that necklace for so long and eventually, i got it yesterday. boyfiee paid for it. and he bought a ring too. i wont ever say what i like in future or else, his going to come out money again. he had spent too much just for me. it isnt fair as i didnt even spent any amount for him. :\

oh wells. after that, khai headed home followed by sitty. after deciding what to buy for that particular person, we walked out of causeway. nadia, harizah and ahmad went home by bus while boyfiee and i walked home. he accompanied me home and we sat at the staircase for a while. i told him i wanted to go home as im afraid mum would scold if im late. and he cried! :(

kept asking again and again, but he doesnt wants to tell me why he cried. i swear he did the sweetest thing which no one ever did to me. he went on his knees to put on a ring for me. i love you baby!

i had fun yesterday eventhough im actually so worn out.
im off to cousin house to see a newborn baby.

answer for the question i gave, will be reveal tomorrow.
so you still have one last chance :D

bid farewell.

2008-09-02T20:13:00.003+08:00

greetings.

sat for my malay n'level today. my hand were shivering as i hold on to my pen to write the answers. i manage to do it. time flies so slow today. after school, went to 736 to meet boyfiee for a moment then headed home. hanis and nadia followed me. got changed, packed my things to bring for remedial, settled down with hanis and nadia to play computer. after doing so, headed back to school. remedial was at 2 but i came at 1445. :D

it finishes before 1530. okey, it was so fast. of course it is. im late. hahaha! waited for boyfiee with hanis since she was waiting for mamat. they came out and we headed home. will be having social studies tomorrow. im so nervous. seriously. mdm azizah told us to chill. how could we? :\

oh yes, lets see if your smart enough.
where do tigers live in? :D
give your answers through the tagboard. i'll reveal the answers 5 days from today.

im off to study for social studies. all the best for your n'level people!
bid farewell

boyfiee, your loved. :)

2008-08-31T23:12:00.008+08:00

greetings people.

firstly i need to say this to nadia. dont ever cry like that again. it really worries me and harizah. we had never seen you cry that bad since secondary 1. we are all there for you. you know that right darl? :D
secondly, harizah. dont wear your blue underwear outside your jeans. you may be my heroine but not singapore's heroine YET. hahahha. so dont perasan wearing underwear outside your pants at town. LOL. okey kidding. :)

next thing;
i owe you readers pictures right? i've uploaded them but not all. didnt have the time and im lazy too. lets update since im already blogging. lets recall~

last friday, school was okey. rubberband sung fall for you. it wasn't so bad afterall. 1989 performed too. they were great. dini, haziqah and amalina danced well too eventhough they didnt managed to finish it up. after school, headed to KFC. harizah and i was hungry, so decided to have our lunch. boyfiee and nadia accompanied us too. while having our lunch, boyfiee was joking and fooling around with nadia. eventhough certain part does hurt my feelings a little, i just kept quiet. i understands them. :D

while walking to 706, a few of my old schoolmates message and called me. i got frustrated and i wasnt in a mood. boyfiee was joking around again and asked whether the person who calls me was my boyfriend and i said yes. i walked away and he got upset i guess? no idea. sat down to cool down for a moment then walked up to him. eventually, i fell. hahahhaha! there is bruises on my legs too okey. anyways, we were okey after that. hang around until almost 7. then accompany him home. we were fooling around again when he kind of made his voice tone higher. you know i couldnt get scoldings and such. i'll definitely cry which, i did. he wiped away my tears and said he was sorry. yesyes, of course i forgive him.

he got changed and accompanied me home. went home and had my bath. he was waiting at the staircase. after changing, settled down at the staircase for awhile. while sitting down, he ask whether he could go or not. i say no in the first place but soon, i got tired and say if he wants to leave, go ahead. which he did(i think he sat downstairs). he messaged me saying he already reached 888. liar liar! ):

then he messaged again telling me not to think about him anymore because his just useless. but soon, he went up the staircase. after reading that, i looked at him and then put my head down. i couldnt help but to cry. and i have difficulties stopping myself from crying. he comfront me though. hahs! and the story goes on. im lazy laa.

oh yes, went geylang today and also the day before. went to buy my clothes for raye. i bought dark purple. mum bought turquiose, red and blue. the whole family might be using pink. was it actually pink? whatever. i hate the colour but my family likes it. oh wells.

HAPPY FASTING PEOPLE :D

2008-08-24T10:50:00.002+08:00

greetings.

yesterday was alright. headed to cousin house at 3. while waiting for it to start, i eventually fell asleep at aunts room. aiez was there! his short and tanned. abang fajar was there too. im so going to disturb zaharah tomorrow about him. HAHAHA :D

the house was packed with people. i was at aunts room when mum told me to sit downstairs because there is hunks whom are highly educated. oh whatever. i dont care. i have mine. the observation game had spread all the way to i dont know where. i was sitting at the kitchen when i hear them talking about black magic. that's dumb.

celebrated my birthday at night. i had an ice-cream cake! got a coach bag from mum and coach keychain from ibu. its nice laa! i'll post the pictures when i had the chance to use mum's laptop. i was wearing cousin's adidas watch the whole day yesterday. hahaha! tak dapat beli, berangan sekejap pon cukop laa. :D

watched superman return and the eye 2 with cousin then headed home. messaged boyfiee and as per usual, i felt asleep. what do you expect, i was tired and sleepy.

bid farewell.

2008-08-23T11:49:00.007+08:00

greetings.

what a day. yesterday was awesome except the part where misunderstandings came in. i accompanied boyfiee home first before going home and get changed. while waiting outside his house, his mum came out. i didnt know what else to do. my feet felt so heavy and i couldnt drag it to salam his mum. just stand there and smiled. :\

after that boyfiee accompanied me home. i got changed. planned to ask grandpa for money first but his in the hospital. then i ask boyfiee how am i going out with no cents. but his there so i dont need to go out a single cent. after getting dressed, walk to admiralty mrt. he added value into my ezlink. i know im not going to spend his money. after that went off to yishun mrt. ahmad and akid had arrived. sitty and harizah came after us. alighted at city hall. walked around there until i dont remember what time. then headed to marina square. masreny, shahidah, kamsiah, farid, raihaan, ramdan and his other two friends were there. firdaus and fadil were missing. no idea where they are. seen the fireworks. now i know someone is afraid of it. heh!

after the fireworks, they went to have supper at kfc. that is where the misunderstandings came by. i couldnt stand looking at him keeping quiet so went out with ezza. sat at the staircase. ezza was talking on the phone with farid, they settled their problems. soon, the others came out. they didnt see us in the first place but then aqhari saw us and waved. sitty came and gave us a hug. i almost fall into tears but i tried not to. after that we headed to the staircase infront of marina square. i wasnt going to tell anyone but aqhari kept asking me again and again. i couldnt stop myself but to explain why i was feeling that way.

i got pissed off when boyfiee messaged me asking me to tell everyone about it. he went missing. i dont know where to. i wanted to walk away but sitty told me to wait for him and i did. while waiting, i couldnt bear holding it back but to just cry. all the way to the mrt, tears just roll down my cheeks. we boarded the train and i sat beside sitty. while waiting for the mrt to move, boyfiee messaged me asking me to sit beside him and talk things out. i received that message late. zZz. but i did went to sit beside him. im not the only one crying. :\

he cried too and that makes me feel worst. i felt so bad for whatever happened when i saw his reaction. but after talking, i finally felt relief. i stopped crying and he did cheer me up by his irritating questions. and his the first person to wish me. after that was aqhari followed by ezza, sitty, ahmad, mamat & hanis, masreny, akid, mum and lastly, my goldfish! reached home at 1. boyfiee accompanied me home. yup2. kite sayang awak laa. :)

hahaha. that made me smile wide. zaily just wished me this morning. and so did shikyn, celine, ana, azra, diana and haziqah. speaking of haziqah,
HAPPY FIFTEEN BIRTHDAY HAZIQAH! (:
yey. we had the same birthday. hahaha

yesterday was the bestest day ever. thank you people!
im off to aunt's house right now.

bid farewell
rawrr. :D

2008-08-21T19:55:00.002+08:00

rawrr! (:

hello readers. today was a bad day for me. i lost my handphone today during biology period. i left it in the toilet and forget about it. i didnt realise that my handphone wasnt with me until school ends. went to the third floor with hanis. i check the toilet while hanis went to the classroom. there is no handphone to be found.

i didnt know what to do but keep calling and messaging my handphone. oh wells. aqhari told me to go out and relax my mind. so all of us went out of the school. boyfiee and i headed home after that. he accompanied me home first. after accompanying him home, headed back to school. nadia and harizah was waiting infront of the general office. ask nadia to follow me to the office. there was two rangers inside the office. a boy lost his handphone too and he made a report to them instead of the office. ignored and looked for mr phua. he wasnt in. went outside and waited. soon, i saw his head through the glass. quickly went in.

that boy got scolded because i dont know why. i got scolded too because of being so careless. mr phua asked where i lost it, whats my handphone and the colour of it. just answered and i got it back! to whoever that found my handphone, thanks for being so kind. i'll be toast if i didnt found my handphone. right after getting my handphone, i messaged boyfiee. :)

ahmad and adli had settled everything. and i asked ahmad to tag along tomorrow. he will message me if his going tomorrow. yey!

thanks to those who helped and stayed with me to find my handphone. :P
bid farewell.

2008-08-20T20:46:00.002+08:00

greetings.

yesterday, we were to gelare at sunplaza. hanis and i didnt bought anything for ourself while they were eating waffles because it still cost alot. oh yes, it was our three monthsary. we had a lot of joke at first but in the end, it doesnt felt like a joke cause it hurts. didnt manage to hide my tears. burst into tears infront of hanis and mamat. soon, boyfiee went infront of me and wiped my tears away. i didnt blame you for what happened. maybe i did went wrong somewhere in the middle when we joke around.

took 962 to admiralty. accompanied him home as he wants to get change. neither me nor him speak a single word. while waiting at the staircase, i messaged hanis. i was asking for help. when he came out, i asked why was he so quiet. he didnt speak a word but instead, tears roll down his cheeks. okey, i was panicked. i swear i didnt know what to do. so i just wiped his tears away and ask why he cried. i still cant figure why. he accompanied me home after that. asked again but he didnt bother speaking. while i was in the house, he messaged me asking me to read his blog if i want to know why. so i did, read it through the psp. and i finally knew why he cried.

its hard to see a guy crys.

we were in good terms after that. he started talking and he did made me smile widely. he might made me cry in the first place but in the end, it was still the bestest moment ever.

today i laughed alot. boyfiee and i were making a fool of ourselves. seriously, selenger siol. HAHAHAHAH. we laughed until boyfiee cried. not as in really cry. it was tears of joy. okey bedek. but i had a lot of fun. really! sitty asked me earlier if i would like to follow her to the library but i said i dont want to as i really want to go out on friday. i couldnt possibly go out on sunday right. it is family day. a few more days to go~

oh yes, before i forget. mdm azizah gave us lectures which is good. she was angry at first but in the end, the voice changed. after looking at the n'level specimen paper, my heart sank. i really need to buck up. i mean it. its difficult, no joke.

thats all for today.
bid farewell

2008-08-17T20:56:00.002+08:00

greetings.

this blog is getting dusty. have to update more often but i dont really had a free time to update. i'll find time okey readers. anyways, i just got back from pahang. went there to attend a wedding invitation. we didnt manage to find any hotels nor inn so we slept over that i dont know whose house. we really dont need any hotels to get air conditioner room. sleeping at their house felt like a hotel. i was freezing due to the air conditioner. its so cold. even if it was just the fan, its still cold. i saw someone whom had a really same appearance as anwar. the way that person dress is all the same. hahs. and i didnt know that one of the singaporean's actress was dad's cousin. oh yes, when we were heading towards pahang on saturday morning, we were stucked at tuas checkpoint for one and a half hour. thats long okey. but i sleep alot so who cares.

lets recall.

on 12 august, which is farid and zaily's birthday. not forgetting that its the day harizah accepted farid. we went to sungei buloh. the plants and animals there were very interesting especially the heart shaped plants and the mudskipper. i was so 'jakon' looking at the jellyfish. it was awesome laa. i could only find 3 jellyfish. alot of crabs and mudskipper. saw alot of lizards and spiders. it was cool. we didnt manage to go far as we were running out of time. didnt get to see the other animals. but its okey laa.

on 13 august, i had my malay prelim paper. okey, i made a huge mistake. i did a mistake on my composition. i put the paragraph on the starting instead of ending. damn. but i did my paper 2 properly. yups, i manage to finish them.

on 14 august, it was social studies prelim paper. it would be easy if i remember them all. but i did manage to finish up the SBQ. did one of the SEQ question but i didnt get to do the other one because the time is up. we even ask for more time. its still isnt enough. at about 8, met sitty at the library. studied until 9 then headed to admiralty. we were looking at boyfiee doing his work. hahs. then settled down at macdonald. they had their deserts, ice creams. soon, boyfiee finished work. we decided to go home after that. he told me to accompany him first as he wants to get change. while waiting at the staircase, there was bangla nearby talking on the phone loudly. my hands were already shivering. saw his sister with boyfriend walking from the other side. soon, boyfiee came out. i thought he was done, but he told me to go inside. well, i went in and met his dad. after that he accompanied me home. i reached home at about 11.30.

on 15 august, it was english prelim paper. it was alright. school ends early. we were out one period before school ends. hanis was with me. soon, mamat and boyfiee came. and we went our separate ways. boyfiee accompanied me home and the story goes on laa.

i'll post all the pictures when i had the chance to.
im off for today.

bid farewell

2008-08-10T12:28:00.002+08:00

greetings.
i was told by boyfiee to update my blog. so here i am :D

went out yesterday with family to celebrate grandfather's birthday. went to terminal 3 and had our early dinner at popeyes. after that we walked around there and headed off to raffles. we were late by a few minutes and missed out the fireworks. its okey. we are going to watch the fireworks on 23rd.

oh yes, before going out with family, i did went out to meet boyfiee. need to exchange phone or else mum will nag again. so met at his blk. waited at the staircase while he got changed. then i followed him to his aunt's house. kecoh sey family. soon, it started raining again. mum kept messaging me asking where i am. they were all dressed and ready to go out. so boyfiee accompanied me home. i had to hold the umbrella. tsk! and im short, so the umbrella kind of hit his head. HAHAHA :D
but its fun! memorable.

im going out soon. off to warehouse sales~
i need to have a bath and get dressed.

bid farewell.

2008-08-08T16:21:00.005+08:00

greetings.

today was odd but still okay. didnt stayed back to help harizah with her art. went home instead. reached home before 1230. mum told me to be home early and i did.

anyways, boyfiee was asking why i love him alot. i did answered. i stated two fact and i said i would tell him later but when i came back, he walk away. as i was looking at him, he went down the stairs. at that point of time, i was holding my tears. when he walked away, it feels the same way as he left me. serious, it hurts alot. soon, he came back. i didnt talk nor look at him in the first place but i felt bad that his there sitting alone. so i went to him and told him to go home as his working at 3. he refused and still waiting for me to tell him what else that make me love him alot. my mind was totally shut down at that moment, i was really trying to hold back my tears and i couldnt look into his eyes or else i'll be crying at that point of time. kept asking him to get to work as i couldnt stand holding this tears. and soon, he did. i guess he was tired of waiting for me to say anything else. he walked away again. no goodbyes or whatever, nothing.
try to make me smile widely eh? forget it.

went back home and sat inside my room. all the tears that i've been holding suddenly roll down my cheeks. im not a strong girl.

i cant go on with the post.
im off for today

bid farewell.

PS: if i didnt reply nor answer your call tonight, that means im not around.

2008-08-07T19:22:00.003+08:00

greetings.

morning was a rush. there is change of plans in the morning so i had to go to school on my own. so does boyfiee. he fetched me and we went to school together. i really though that we were late for school but luckily, we werent. we step into school right on time.

after school, stayed back to help harizah with her n'level. her art's deadline is at 5 just now. did manage to help finish her final drawing but she had to do her prep work on her own because i couldnt stay for long. talking about art, i havent started on my final drawing. deadline is on september. oh wells, delay2. i couldnt stay in school for long too. i had to go home early. whatever laa~

prelims is just next week. im on the process of studying social studies. biology test was alright just now. maths was tough but i did manage to do it. no idea if im going to pass my maths test. but if i did failed, its okey. i'll study harder for n'level. english and malay prelims is next week too. woah, thats fast. i really need to concentrate.

still thinking about going out on 23rd. i wouldnt know if mum would let me out on that day. talking about going out, boyfiee asked me out yesterday but i didnt went. im sure mum wouldnt let me out. she would be asking me to sit at home and study. so i didnt ask her at all.

mdm azizah still trying to get the tickets for this saturday. cant wait. :D
okey, im done for today.

bid farewell.

2008-08-05T19:41:00.005+08:00

greetings.

before i update about what happened, i have to say that:
MY THROAT IS KILLING ME AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. RAWRR!

anyways, little sister complained alot to daddy. oh wells, its complicated. i wouldnt be going out much until n'level ends but im hoping that i could go out on that particular day.

that motivational talk just now was very useful. this time, i did listen and im trying to achieve my goals. hanis, GRAPHIC DESIGNER kan?! its a must to study hard from now. i dont mind if its hard to get into the school i wanted but im still going to keep on drawing until i got sick and tired of it. and maybe, improve my painting skills cause im bad at it. hahs! :D

n'level is coming and prelim is just next week. i just did my revision on social studies. i mean it, i didnt post that on blog just for the sake of updating and making my post long.

alot of things in my mind right now. i wish i had a shoulder to cry on right now. i had been hiding my tears since school ends just now. i couldnt just burst into tears. argh! im done for today.

bid farewell.

2008-08-03T10:58:00.006+08:00

greetings.

havent been updating my blog. i dont use the computer as often as before. school was as per normal each day. havent did anything for my art since last week. went to school for art yesterday but i ended up doing harizah's art. had to help her as the date due is coming. after going for art yesterday, had my lunch with jufrie, ezza & hakim at kfc. i had to treat jufrie or else he wont follow us. after that jufrie gave me one cig. headed to 706 and meet zul, firdaus and shasha. sat there until 5. ezza was talking about "BLANGA" which was actually bangla. that is ezza's language. mwahahhaha :D

after hanging around at yishun, headed to boyfiee's blk. met him at the staircase. followed to admiralty mrt as he bought cigs. and kite tk terpikat tengok die eh! he accompanied me home after that. we sat at the staircase while waiting for mum to come home. soon, little sister twisted stories and i got scolded. oh wells.

&& i've changed blogskin!
okey, im done for today.
i miss boyfiee~ :D

2008-07-25T22:29:00.003+08:00

let bygones be bygones.

what has past, remains in the past. there may be happy moments but that is all over. eventhough we had a good time but that doesnt mean he could easily replace that place of yours. nope, never. i may have been with certain guys before getting back with you, but just a tiny little space is opened to them. no one could replace you. i couldnt say in future cause i couldnt predict what might happen but right now i repeat, no one.

im happy with what im going through.